Lindsayism.com

I'm stuck on Apligraf cause Apligraf's stuck on me

I kind of pride myself on knowing about this kind of thing before, say, Gawker (no offense, pharm-absurdity is just one of my beats) but none of my extensive viewing of Scientific American Frontiers with Alan Alda or multiple RSS feeds for medical oddities and treatments could prepare me for Apligraf: the band-aid made out of foreskins. Oh to be a fly on the wall for the brainstorming meeting when they had to come up with a name for it.

"4 Months, 3 Weeks..." Might Already Live In Your TV Set

I just noticed that the movie opening this weekend to rave reviews and lots of blog coverage is already available for $5.99 on Movies on Demand. It's freezing, there are no other supposed-to-be-good movies opening, and you're welcome.

How to Get Over a Cold Really Fast by Pushing Sleep

(Update: this blog post was a bad idea. I'm now really sick! I tempted the gods.)

(Note: I am not a medical professional and this is just a joke or something.)

How to Get Over a Cold Really Fast By Artificially Forcing Sleep

The first day you feel the cold coming on, take the day off. (Better to take a full day off work now, than come in sick for two weeks and make your co-workers sick.)

Take a shower and put clean sheets on the bed.

Drink a lot of water and use some Zicam if you have it.

Turn off your phone and go to sleep for as long as you can.

When you wake up, drink some more water and then immediately take an Ambien (or Tylenol PM) even though it's daytime and it feels so wrong to do so.

Try to sleep for as long as possible. Sleep past the point of comfort. Sleep until nightmares occur. Sleep until you can't possibly sleep any more.

Go to bed at the normal time.

Wake up without a cold.

This has worked for me three times!

Two Halloween Costume Ideas

I had this idea for a Halloween costume a long time ago that I remembered today: Lloyd Dobler holding the boom box but in fake, papier mache arms so you can still walk around with a beer while your papier mache boom box plays "In Your Eyes", and I was Googling to see if this has been done when I stopped because I found this picture, which is funnier than my costume idea could ever be:

"I May As Well Be About to Bash Your Face In With An iPod!"

Also, other costume idea: Dress up as a dog dressed up for Halloween. Like with a dog mask.

Right Brainers "Get It"

This optical illusion purports to tell you whether you're right-brained or left-brained. So far myself and everyone I've sent it to are right-brained (which, according to the article, means we can "get it" (i.e. meaning)" Yes! ) but I'm pretty sure that whole lateralization notion was debunked in the years since we spent an entire wasted year on it in high school English.

Either way, it's more interesting than horoscopes!

(Via The I In We)

Facebook Etiquette and Defending Dane Cook

* Via Lifehacker: Social Networking Invitation Etiquette. It is very polite to include with your invite a reason (any reason) why you're inviting the person.

* My friend Brian forced me to defend Good Luck Chuck. Sort of.

* OMG, Joe D. from The Pickup Artist (finale tonight!) totally commented on Max Silvestri and Joe Mande's PUA parody. Awesome.

Marketing to Misophobics

So, as a (mild) Obsessive Compulsive (or as I like to think of it, "Person whose hands are usually clean"), one might think I'd be into this product:

Sample
Each sealed packet contains:

• 1 Hard Surface Disinfectant Towelette
• 1 Standard Paper Toilet Seat Cover
• 1 Personal Wipe Towelette
• 1 Hand Disinfectant Towelette
• 3 Facial Quality 2 Ply Tissues

But I look at that and I say "Amateurs!" Anyone who is truly committed to/neurotic about protecting ourselves from the ridiculous number of people who apparently crap on their hands and then touch everything (seriously: who ARE these people?), has not allowed any part of our bodies to touch any part of a public bathroom in years. I do carry Purell though, but as a comfort, the way the astronauts carried cyanide pills. I rarely have to use it.

Slightly Related: In researching this dumb blog post I learned something new: it is possible to be a feces donor.  NAST!! 

Warning: Do Not Eat This New Product!

So you're probably like "Come ON, how can something made from Spinach, enriched wheat flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), artichoke hearts (artichoke hearts, water, salt, citric acid, ascorbic acid), water, Mozzarella cheese (pasteurized milk, salt, enzymes, cultures), corn oil with TBHQ for freshness, dry curd cottage cheese (pasteurized cultured skim milk, nonfat dry milk), wheat flour, cream cheese (pasteurized milk and cream, cheese culture, salt, carob bean gum), soy protein isolate, wheat protein, dried whey, sugar, contains two percent or less of egg whites, dextrose, salt, natural and artificial flavors, garlic, leavening (baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, sodium acid pyrophosphate), yellow corn flour, hydrogenated soybean oil†, methylcellulose, spices, paprika, lactic acid, hydrolyzed corn protein, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, cornstarch, onion, buttermilk, soybean oil, autolyzed yeast extract, carrageenan, vitamins and minerals (niacinamide, iron [ferrous sulfate], thiamin mononitrate [vitamin B1], pyridoxine hydrochloride [vitamin B6], riboflavin [vitamin B2], vitamin B12), nonfat dry milk, spice extractives, dough conditioners (ascorbic acid, l-cysteine monohydrochloride), monosodium phosphate, guar gum possibly taste so bad that your brain screamed "POISON! THIS IS POISON!" when you bit into it?"

But it did. And if you try it, you will see. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and you'll have the memory of that taste for the rest of your life.

(Also MorningStar farms CEO googling your products: I want a lifetime supply of various Chik for what I went through.)

'I'm American and I Want to 'B' Famous'

• Video of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk's reunion on last night's (hilarious) Night of Too Many Stars autism benefit.
• Also, Steve Carell's bit made me fall out of bed laughing.
• The latest Improv Everywhere stunt: punking Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
• Video: John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton perform in San Francisco.
• Halloween costume idea's from Michael's (via Lifehacker) (There's a Michael's in Queens that's easily accessible from Manhattan, btw.)

(blogger still sucks though)

I recently switched my RSS reader from bloglines to Google Reader. (So did Lifehacker, with all the details.)

I'm a bit of a Google Reader evangelist now -- I've been trying to get all my friends (particularly the bloggers) to switch. I'm writing for three blogs now and I don't know how I ever lived without the tagging feature. My tags include:

"Daily" (What I have to stay on top of no matter how busy I am, and favorites such as Golden Fiddle and Emily)
"Friend" (to keep up with my friends' personal blogs that aren't updated often - very useful as a cheatsheet before attending a party, if you're like me and everyone you know has a blog.)
"Useful" (Includes sites like 43 Folders and MB Toolbox)
"Comedy" (Every comedy site I find goes here)
As well as technorati search RSS feeds for my favorite subjects and people (Amy Sedaris, Patton Oswalt, etc)

The best thing about Google Reader is that in many cases it picks up blogs and sites that don't even have RSS! You just enter the URL of the site and 90% of the time, Google will find a feed.

Anyway, lately my main online timewaster has been looking for time-saving and organizational hacks -- oh the irony.