Lindsayism.com

Anticipatory Band-Name-Related Generational Outrage

The other night I was listening to Tomorrow Wendy and I realized there's going to be a band called Tomorrow Wendy soon, and then I tried to think of the worst possible band name there could be based on a song title, and it was There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, the band. And I got really outraged, even though it hasn't happened yet. But seriously: don't these stupid hypothetical future kids realize that these songs mean something to people?? How. Dare. They. Seriously, screw them.

Rachel Would Never Have Settled for Barry!!!

One thing is certain: the guy who played Barry the Orthodonist on Friends never expected to be mentioned in The Atlantic this month:

"do we feel confident that she’ll be happier with Ross than she would have been had she settled down with Barry, the orthodontist, 10 years earlier? She and Ross have passion but have never had long-term stability, and the fireworks she experiences with him but not with Barry might actually turn out to be a liability, given how many times their relationship has already gone up in flames."

Putting aside the well-established fact that this essay is of the shady, fightin'-words, "the writer herself doesn't even believe it" variety that's so popular these days, and is completely stupid in every way, starting with its premise that all women want only to bless the world with their own DNA, anyone familiar with Friends knows that Barry was a lying, sleazy asshole and the last person (with the possible exception of Paolo) that Rachel should have considered "settling" for or down with.

Consider this 30 year old fan of comforting 90's reruns utterly and completely outraged.