Lindsayism.com

-- No Sopranos Zone ---

Saturday I saw "Ocean's 13" with my friend Kerry and she took the above photo of me giving in without even a symbolic gesture of hesitation to the marketing plan for "Balls of Fury". From left: Someone's shoulder, My face, Tom Lennon's body, Patton Oswalt.

Patton Oswalt Is My Spiritual Guru

Matt Tobey found some Patton Oswalt musings on A Special Thing (comedy nerd message board) and put them on the Comedy Central Insider (it's ostensibly a thread about Friday Night Lights, which I've never seen):

"You know how, when you're nineteen, and terrified of what everyone thinks of you ("You are what people perceive you to be...") you do that disdainful bullshit, where you say, "Oh, he doesn't like SPINAL TAP", or "Oh, she likes FAMILY GUY", and you follow it with the phrase, "...and that tells me all I need to know about him/her".

That's kinda cute when you're nineteen, because older people hear it and have a hearty chuckle behind your back. Because -- tee hee! -- saying that tells everyone else everything they need to know about YOU...

failure to laugh

I'm such a Patton Oswalt completist that I netflixed and watched Failure to Launch last weekend. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Patton's 40 seconds are (the only) funny 40 seconds, though.)

That's it. That's my blog post. I just want to cover up Britney (don't we all.)

full disclosure blah blah blah

...And I have a new screensaver. (Thanks to co-worker Nicole.)

* Variety reports that my former nice neighbor Corey Feldman will star in "Coreys", a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style show with Corey Haim. How much does that rule? HOW MUCH?

* Via Golden Fiddle-on-Jane, who needs to send me some of the meth-like-substance that is allowing him to blog like it's his job that he just got and doesn't hate yet: long awkward pose. I will be doing this to my friends on the ambassador ho-phone forthwith, so beware!

* Via Darci Kittenpants, who is awesomeing-up the Comedy Central blog on a daily basis: the Corner'ingation of Baby. (This is a drop-everything link as is the long awkard pose one.)

* Rolling Stone has entered the blog game with Rock Daily and my friend Lizzy (Spin-when-it-was- good, NME) is one of the writers, yay.

* A few weeks ago I made a comment on Radosh quoting someone who compared the new Adam Sandler movie, Click, to Nicholson Baker's The Fermata.
Today I learned that CNN mentioned that idea and linked to the comment. I was shocked that they actually gave attribution of an idea to a blog comment, but saddened by the fact that I hadn't attributed it myself. The person who originally made the Fermata joke, in email, was Jeff, of the blog Heart On a Stick. He really didn't want me to post this, but justice must be broughten!
Also, CNN is linking to blog comments now. (Also, if you can decipher the above paragraph, I salute you.)

* Last night I fell in love with a painting at Niagara. I scribbled the artist's name down on a magazine page and googled him today - I can't find the painting online but it's called "Flashlight" and it's by Ted Riederer. My friend Jen obliged me by snapping a picture of it last night. I liked this painting so much that for a few brief, Yellow Tail-soaked minutes I thought I might have 400 bucks just lying around waiting to be spent, but then I came to my senses. "If I were married, it would only be 200!" I joked, realizing I'd just found the most compelling reason for me to get married that had ever occured to me before. What I'm trying to say is it's a really fucking awesome painting. The picture doesn't do it justice. Go see it. And buy it. And let me come over and look at it.
Here's a profile Current TV did of Ted Reiderer in January.

David's Law!

I've had this rule for myself for the past few years called "David's Law." David's Law was signed into law in 2003, just after an unfortunate "I was that drunk girl" incident at the Tinkle Booze Cruise. David's Law makes it illegal for me, Lindsay Robertson, to speak to David Cross or any other public figure whom I admire (usually comedians, because I generally only admire funny people) unless introduced by someone else, directly spoken to, or if I already know them, or if it's for work.

Since David's Law was passed in 2003, it has helped many talented comedians unknowingly dodge the bullet that is meeting me, including but not limited to Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, Zack Galifianakis, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Janeane Garofalo, Thomas Lennon, and David Cross like three more times (though I was introduced to him without time to run away in February by a mutual friend, so that doesn't count, and all I said was "I've been a fan for a long time" and then escaped as fast as I could.)

Anyway, imagine my delight when I opened my copy of New York Magazine (it was $5/year for the subscription, okay?) last night and found a sidebar by David Cross himself entitled "Where Do I Know You From? How not to alienate That Guy From TV."

It really made me feel like the last three years of not annoying my heros has all been worth it. Also, it's really funny. David's first rule:

"If you don't know who he is, ask your friend. Or a stranger. Don't ask him. And certainly don't ask him to keep listing his resume until you realize he's the guy from Blade of Innocence 2 who lost his shoe and got killed by the vampire with outer-space AIDS."

Anyway, I've never really spoken publically (ha) about the incident that sparked David's Law, but I will say with a very red face that it may have included the sentence:

"I was definitely the only cute girl who was obsessed with Mr. Show in 1996."

Which, besides being horrifying in other ways, is sort of an insult. So, um, that's how a personal bill becomes a personal law.

the meat rehydrator

My coworker Karen found a bunch of old Comedy Central promos from the 90's on youtube:

Patton Oswalt and Blaine Capatch in 1991

Patton and Blaine in 1994

Janeane Garofalo in 1995 (I remember this one)

Roger Clinton in 1993

"I love my Down-y little tard"

* Memorable movie scenes, played out by those annoying moving emoticons.

* Emily sees a familiar friend in Google's Olympic-themed logo.

* Patton Oswalt's new bride defends his honor against the "Heathers". (Nobody is a bigger Patton fan than me, but public figures are public figures. He who setteth forth to Google his own name deserveth what he getteth.)

"There's room for everyone. You can make it your own way."

I was just re-reading the amazing 4-part Patton Oswalt interview from A Special Thing on the subway this morning, and this quote jumped out at me because it's something I've been thinking about a lot and I totally agree:

"I'm still baffled by people that get jealous or angry at a comedian having success, when it's the kind of success that they would never want. You know, do you want what that guy has? Do you want to do what that guy has to do? That's awful. Be happy it's not you."

Insert whatever you want for "comedian" and it's still so true. (Well, unless you're an actual prostitute, I guess.)

Anyways, Happy Holidays!

some little things

* Patton Oswalt answers the question "What was the funniest person, place or thing of 2005?" for the Comedy Central Insider blog.

* Tonight is the latest edition of Will Leitch's excellent Growth Spurt Reading Series, at Happy Endings at 8. I'm going to try to stop by after seeing a rare New York appearance by Lizzie Skurnick (aka The Old Hag) reading from her new book of poetry, "Check In", at the Jen Bekman gallery.

* Speaking of readings, remember my old humor reading series, Ritalin Readings? Well, it looks like it's coming back with a vengeance, bigger and better in 2006. I'll still be booking talent and co-hosting with Alex Balk, but now a really cool production company is going to be producing it. More, as you might imagine, later. But I'm super-excited.

* Last night I dreamed there was a magazine called "American Comment", that consisted solely of letters to the editor and reader polls, solicted in the previous issue. Before you say "that's the stupidest idea ever", I'd like to point out that Americans are the stupidest people ever. It's a total P.T. Barnum idea, like Desperate Housewives, or the Bush Administration. I have no idea what the rest of the dream was about.

Comedy Stuff

* Excellent Boston Globe article about the excellent Louis C.K. and his upcoming show, Lucky Louie, on HBO, which is being proclaimed no less than the savior of the sitcom. If you haven't already, check out his special on HBO On Demand. Every single second is pure comic genius. Lots of clips and stuff here.

* The second half of A Special Thing's interview with Patton Oswalt is up. My favorite part:
"I. Hate. Needy. Comedy. Ninety percent of comedy films, ninety percent of sitcoms, are the neediest, most desperate, please God, what can we do to make you laugh? Please, anything, what do you want?"

Patton also has a write-up of the second episode of Comedians of Comedy (including outtake clips) on his blog.

* I got the link to the Louis C.K. Boston Globe article from the great new-ish comedy site, Laugh Machine, which is now a daily read.

* Once again, I'm headed out to L.A. this weekend for Comedy Central's Last Laugh '05 event. The talent lineup hasn't been officially announced yet, but I'm really excited about it this year and I think many readers of this site will be too. If anyone knows of anything fun going on this Saturday night in LA (particularly if it's comedy-related), email me!

Comedians of Comedy, not to be confused with Comedians of Comedy

People seem justifiably confused about Comedians of Comedy the movie vs. Comedians of Comedy the TV show. So for clarification:

Comedians of Comedy (the movie) opens tomorrow at Cinema Village. It's a feature-length film that follows Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford, Brian Posehn and Zach Galifianakis on tour, showing bits of their standup as well as them fooling around between shows. It's basically a comedy nerd's dream. I loved it (though there were some serious parts I would have taken out.)

Comedians of Comedy the show premieres tomorrow at 11pm on Comedy Central. It's a half-hour show that follows Patton Oswalt, Maria Bamford, Brian Posehn and Zach Galifianakis on A DIFFERENT, MORE RECENT tour, showing bits of their standup as well as them fooling around between shows. It's less serious than the movie.

The movie and the show have zero footage in common, as the show was shot after the movie had already premiered at SXSW.

Comedians of Comedy

* This Friday, a new show will premiere on Comedy Central called Comedians of Comedy. It follows Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford and Zack Galifianakis on their Comedians of Comedy tour. I've seen the first three episodes and it's REALLY funny. Set your DVRs for this Friday at 11pm. I will be mentioning this every day this week. It's that important!

* Thanks to everyone who wrote to me about fixing my permanent links, and thanks to Kyle from Blogebrity.com, who went in and fixed 'em for me.

* Brooklynbunny.com. I had a bunny for a very short time a few years ago named JonBenet. It bit me so often and so hard that people thought I had an abusive boyfriend and I had to pay $100 to give it to an animal shelter where they promised it wouldn't be euthanized. But I sincerely hope that thing is giving four separate people a lot of luck right now, if you know what I mean. Um, anyways, I'm sure this bunny is nice or whatever.

* A little birdie tells me that Demetri Martin, will appear as a correspondent on The Daily Show tonight, which is weird because isn't he a writer/performer on Conan? Either way, more Demetri is always good.

* The Village Voice has an interview with Aziz Ansari. Go Aziz!

* Madonna: So Not Cool. God, finally. Thank you.