Lindsayism.com

Ritalin Readings Tonight!

Tonight's lineup:

Max Silvestri (Maxsilvestri.com, Gabe and Max's Internet Thing)
Brian Montopoli (CBS)
Moe Tkakik (Jezebel)
Gabe Liedman (TRL, Gabe and Jenny)

Hosted by me and Gabe Delahaye and produced by Jon Friedman

The Slipper Room (Stanton and Orchard), doors at 8, show at 8:15, after-show mingling until whenever.

The Perfect Video Metaphor For The Day I'm Having

The older sister is the internet or my brain, and the baby is me.

The Rejection Show Tonight

Gabe and I are doing The Rejection Show tonight at Comix with some awesome folks.

Thsrsly?

Now there's Thsrs, a thesaurus for finding shorter words. "It's especially useful for Twitter." Which reminds me that I need to designate a person to shoot me if I ever use a Thesaurus for Twitter. But mainly, this is amusing, from the comment thread about Thsrs bugs:

"Oh Sweetie, No. No.": Or How I Almost Died*

So I was out very late for me Friday night, and my cab driver got lost. He stopped next to the Union Street bridge over the Gowanus Canal to consult the map, and this guy stopped to ask if he needed directions. Since I said I lived on the other side of the bridge, the guy suggested that I just get out there (or else the driver would have to drive around several blocks.) It was nearly 3 and I was a little nervous, but I paid and got out there.

So I was walking across the bridge and the guy who gave directions was walking in the same direction on the other side. Otherwise, it was completely deserted. I stopped in the middle and lit a cigarette, and, well, stood there and smiled at the pretty green water and thought drunk, poetic thoughts about the moon and life and Ode On A Grecian Urn or some shit.

My reverie lasted about 10 seconds, when I hear from across the street:

"Oh, sweetie, no. No. Don't do that. Just go home."

It's hard to convey the proper tone, here, but in that one line was a mixture of concern, annoyance, and, especially, disappointment. I think the guy's thought process was "WTF is she doing stopping?" "Oh crap, I'm the one who told her to get out. I'm therefore somewhat responsible for this stupidity." 

Anyway, I kept walking and yelled thank you to him when I got to the corner to turn. New Yorkers care!

* Every story title should be "____: Or How I Almost Died"

Anticipatory Band-Name-Related Generational Outrage

The other night I was listening to Tomorrow Wendy and I realized there's going to be a band called Tomorrow Wendy soon, and then I tried to think of the worst possible band name there could be based on a song title, and it was There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, the band. And I got really outraged, even though it hasn't happened yet. But seriously: don't these stupid hypothetical future kids realize that these songs mean something to people?? How. Dare. They. Seriously, screw them.

Congratulations Leitch and Daulerio!

Congratulations are in order for two of my favorite gentlemen in the whole world and it feels appropriate to do it here since  I'm terrified of their site's commenters: Will Leitch, who today leaves Deadspin.com in a flurry of loving tributes (like seriously, he's not dead) to be a contributing editor at New York Magazine, and A.J. Daulerio, who steps up to the plate (get it, the plate?) as the new editor of Deadspin. Even though they're too busy now, I will never get a strange phone call or IM or email that I don't automatically assume is the two of them playing a prank. The internet and, especially, online writers owe a lot (in many cases, writing careers) to those two wonderful, generous, brilliant guys. I love you Will and AJ!

Racists: Where Are They Now?

Doree just linked to this great slideshow from the Civil Rights Movement, which reminds me of something I always think when I see old photos and especially video clips from back then: I'd love to see a documentary that goes back and finds the racist white people and interviews them now. I'm always wondering "Whose mom or dad or grandparent is that? And what do they say about it now?" It would be fascinating to find that the most visible and familiar anti-civil rights activists have changed their minds and are mortified by their place in history. It also might be a good lesson for current battles over basic human rights like gay marriage and abortion. (Though, like a This American Life story arc, the documentarians might find people as stubbornly bigoted as always, though who could watch themselves spewing such hate and feel proud of it?) If this documentary already exists, I want to see it.

Maybe There's More Closet Space In Chicago

Kottke just blogged about this Time story about people who are trying to live with fewer than 100 possessions and maybe being a little obnoxious about it, but whatever, it's a noble goal. But this part made me LOL:

"Bruno considers a pair of shoes to be a single entity, which seems sensible but still pretty hard-core when you're trying to jettison all but 100 personal possessions. Cait Simmons, 27, a waitress in Chicago, takes a different approach. Although she has pared down her footwear collection from 35 to 20 pairs, she says, "All my shoes count as one item."

Twenty pairs? That's a lot of shoes, rule-making stickler anti-possession spokeswoman!

Take That, Famous Scientist With The Same Name

This weekend my pal Brian Greene, who writes Cash Cab, won a Daytime Emmy presented by Oscar the Grouch.

Survival Tips For the Middle Ages

This post on Kottke about how to survive in the Middle Ages reminded me of Kasper Hauser's hilarious radio sketch, Phone Call to the 14th Century:

Kasper Hauser: Phone Call to the 14th Century

Hey, It Could Happen!

My silly conspiracy theory: The Hippie Preacher Documentary The Church Doesn't Want You To See

I walk into one of these every day

Me: ahhhhh!!
Me: which woman does Dana Carvey look exactly like there?
Gabe: you

(UPDATE: I was really asking, but I couldn't figure it out. Until Baroness Edith Zimmerman IMd the answer: Jamie Lee Curtis! Totally.)

I Made A Good Faith Effort To SuperGlue My Glasses First

As part of Gabe and my ongoing dare battle on Videogum, I had to make a Survivor audition tape.

"This Is So Stupid."

On Videogum: Three Pirated Clips From The SATC Movie (Thanks to Socialcrisis.com!)

Also: The Top 10 Racist Faces Of Brigitte Bardot

I Think It Was The Day Before Adam Rich "Died"

"She told me she was following a system, which she’d read about in a magazine, whereby children are rewarded with sticker stars, which can be redeemed for treats, thus not only controlling them but also teaching them the basics of capitalism."

Does anyone remember the last time they read celebrity journalism that didn't sound like a parody of celebrity journalism?

Hey, Ritalin Readings Are Tonight

Ritalin Readings, the laid-back fun-style show of short funny readings hosted by Gabe Delahaye and I returns tonight with an awesome lineup, including:

Jane Feltes (This American Life)
Ben Mathis-Lilley (New York Magazine)
Jaqueline Novak (College Humor, SuperDeluxe)
Bob Powers (Comedian, Author of You Are A Miserable Excuse For A Hero)
Rob Klein (Writer, SNL)

Produced by The Rejection Show's Jon Friedman.

Come on out. The Slipper Room, Stanton at Orchard. Doors at 8, show starts around 8:20. Fun fun times.

I Guess You Have To Eat Something Even Worse Than Scorpions

To marry George Clooney. It's anyone's game now!

Finally, The Sex And The City Movie Totally Spoiled For Real

On Videogum: The Sex And The City Movie Total Spoiler IM Session!

On Videogum: IM Chats With Charlotte And Samantha

I "Hacked" Into Carrie Bradshaw's MacBook And Talked With Her "Friends"

About death, shoes, and the war.

I've Been Waiting For Any Excuse To Put This On The Internet

On Videogum, quotes from Kelsey Grammer's 1995 autobiography: Kelsey Grammer Used To Think He Was Jesus

"Hey, Look At Me, I Hate Sex and the City!"

But man, I really do. On Videogum: I want to spoil the SATC movie but nobody who would read this or VG would care about that movie. It's sadder than thinking fleet week is sexy or that that reference is fresh.

Paul Rudd Dancing!

Videogum: If You Watch One Video Today, Make It Paul Rudd Dancing

Paul Rudd just keeps finding new reasons for us to love him.

Michael Douglas's Version Of "Say Anything"

This picture has cracked me up all day:

I wish it was real and not from a movie. Via Jezebel.

I Can't Believe I Know This: The Contours Of Gwyneth's Behind

I just saw this new picture of nude Gwyneth Paltrow from British GQ on Defamer and thought "I can't believe I know this, but this looks exactly like a picture from the early '00s that Gwyneth later loudly complained about because she didn't like the way her butt looked."

Actually, I still think it could be the same picture or at least a recreation. Nope, it's real. She must just stand that weird way every time or something. But still, I can't believe I know mistakenly thought I knew that!

Update: This picture is much more embarrassing:

The "New" Little Edie

On Videogum: my new obsession with Pat from Sherman's March.

Hipster Cops!

Steph and I were walking in Williamsburg this weekend and someone played extremely loud (unidentifiable) music out of a car window for a second and these two young cops on the sidewalk in front of us turned to see where it was coming from and one of them said to the other deadpan and dismissive:
"We should arrest them for having really bad taste in music."

Hipster Cops! Hipster cops have happened. Hipster music snob cops in Williamsburg are a real thing now. Unfortunately, unlike in our imaginations they weren't wearing vintage CHIPS uniforms they got from Beacon's Closet embroidered with names that weren't their own, but how far can we be? Hipster cops.

Help Gabe Sabotage The MTV Movie Awards

Let's try to sabotage the MTV Movie Awards by flooding them with votes for the most ridiculous nominated movies. It's REALLY EASY to vote and the links are provided. Let's do it:
Please Help Me Burn The MTV Movie Awards To The Ground

Have You Seen The Sex And The City Movie?

And do you want to spoil it anonymously to me, pretty please? Email!

Ritalin Readings Is Tonight!

Awesome Lineup:
Doree Shafrir
Edith Zimmerman
Carolita Johnson
Matt McCarthy
Jon Friedman

Hosted by me and Videogum's Gabe Delahaye.

Ritalin Readings
Monday, May 5th, 8PM
$5
The Slipper Room
167 Orchard (at stanton)

I Win The Internet!

First! By the way, I have one, and it doesn't. Two of the first three posts were about Ambien, if that's any indication.

Friday Fight

On Videogum today: Gabe and I argue about "Iron Man vs Sex and the City" and it gets so evil at the end.

It's George Clooney.

I have this one friend who always tries to get me to believe elaborate untrue things. Here was his latest attempt, on IM:

Me: hey, is it pronounced "santogold"
Me: like the way you would think?
Friend: no
Friend: suh-nog-lutz
Friend: Like SNOGLUTZ
Me: hAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: Good try
Friend: Did you at least ask someone else?
Me: no
Me: I just saw it and knew!
Friend: DOH

Postcards From Yo Momma Book Deal!

Huge congrats to my friends Doree Shafrir and Jessica Grose, whose site Postcards From Yo Momma is going to be a book I would actually buy even if I didn't know them. Yay!

On Videogum Today: Gabe Is Forced To Become A (Gasp) Videoblogger

In the latest Videogum Double Dog challenge, my co-editor Gabe was forced to become what he hates the most: a vlogger. I think it turned out hilarious. Watch here.

Just So You Know, I'm "Boycotting" WNYC's New Morning Show, "The Takeaway"

So last summer, a good friend of mine who I'll call "Michelle" saw a job listing for writers for a new NPR PRI morning show (nullus on the title of the job listing.) She was applying, and because she knew I was keeping an eye out at the time, she sent it to me and encouraged me to apply too (a typical example of the kind of generosity that should be typical but isn't in media. Michelle, though made ungoogleable here for obvious current-job reasons, is awesome.)

You Would Think I Could Update This

I've been bloggin' away at Videogum! It's just like here only with stuff on it, and Gabe, and better.

(An update to the previous post - I found an apartment right away, thank you to everyone who emailed tips. I'm moving to Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill in a few weeks.)

"Sure, Whatever, I'm Busy Until August 1st Anyway"

I just like the way this was worded (italics mine): Sam Lutfi agrees to stay away from Britney Spears through July.

It's clearly because of statutes of limitations on restraining orders or something, but it's funny to think of him penciling in resuming his Svengali-like control of her mind for "August at the earliest, dude."

I'm Looking for An Apartment!

Excellent timing: just found out that the guy I sublet from is terminating his lease on my apartment and the one next door, and the building is anxious to turn them into one bigger apt so they can charge more money (though I'm not really sure what rich person is going to pay a lot to live above a fish market with a 24-hour psychic/palm reading concession in the threshhold/lobby!) After over 2 years in my little suddenly-appreciated Chinatown apartment, I'm leaving in May (between May 1 and June 1.) I have some great leads, but if you know of anything, please let me know!

Reading Rainbow

(I've not been around, I've been blogging on Videogum.com and boy is my everything tired! Go there, things are good there!)

There are two excellent books I've been meaning to plug (but neither needs it, they're absolutely everywhere!) I want to write long things about each of them, but I'm exhausted, so just please take my word for it (and, you know, everyone else's) as a person who's always looking for good books to read, that you can't do better than:

Rapture Ready!: Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture
Longtime genius blogger Daniel Radosh travels the country talking to Christian bands, comedians, actors, mascots, kitsch-peddlers, etc, and getting into funny scrapes along the way. The genius of this book is the way Radosh balances his own fish out of water (for lack of a less cliched term) perspective with his genuine respect and empathy for people who don't share his worldview. That said, the funniest parts of the book are when Daniel Gets Mad. (Favorite chapter: Daniel fills in as an actor in a Passion Play at a Christian theme park, and singlehandedly tries to redeem his People from centuries of misunderstanding.)
Also, they've made a really cool site with an appendix so you can see people and places from the book.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake
That fawning "Most popular publicist" profile was good press, but it only distracts from the charm of the actual book, which is funny and original and refreshingly almost totally not about dating. If you've been waiting for a book about the inner life of a woman who thinks about Things Other Than Boys And Clothes, here it is. I read it in one uninterrupted afternoon and couldn't put it down. I still maintain that Sloane never had more than two plastic ponies in her drawer (CrosleyGate '08) but if you want a real reason to be jealous of the girl, which I clearly am, (and enormously entertained by her), read this book. Also, the website is amazing.

But don't take my word for it! Look for both of these books on Best of 2008 lists in December.

Videogum Is Live!

I now co-edit a sister site to Stereogum.com called Videogum, with Gabe Delahaye. Check it out and send us tips!

(And please don't miss the part where I made Gabe appear in The Today Show audience last week with a huge sign I made.)

I'm Big In Australia

Hardy says she had no idea what a blog was until she started Googling the name of a drummer she fancied (Fabrizio Moretti from the Strokes) during a dull moment at work. One of the websites that appeared was Lindsayism.com, a blog by a young New Yorker named Lindsay Robertson.

Aww, What ever happened to Fab?

Funny.

The Silver Lining

Rush Limbaugh Implicitly States That One Abortion Is Totally Okay.

"Did You Turn My Google Black?"

This is a real-life conversation turned into the form of an IM conversation. Like a play. I've left my friend anon because of the obvious verbal abuse:

Me: Did you turn my Google black the other day?
Friend: WHAT?
Me: You were the last person who used my laptop and then my Google was black for a while and then it went back to default Google.
Friend: (Long pause, then look of recognition) You are an IDIOT.
Me: oh wait because of that Earth Hour thing?? Google went black for a day?
Me: I actually knew cities were doing that but didn't think of it in this case.
Friend: Yeah...wow...yeah.

First, It Was Valentine's Day

Then it was people who hate Valentine's Day. Then it was St. Patrick's Day, and those people who take a personal day on the 18th every year. Then it was the life-pausing style-cramper that is Christmas, then the annual where shall I spend Thanksgiving struggle, then, last year, even Halloween passed by unnoticed except for a little talk of dressing up as Mystery the Pick Up Artist, abandoned in late September. Now, this April 1st marks my realization that there is no holiday I am not now grumpy about.

Well, I guess Easter. Nobody cares about Easter.

Enjoyed: An Indie Rock Tribute to Bjork's Post

My employers at Stereogum commissioned artists including the Liars, Dirty Projectors, and a bunch of other bands to do a song-for-song cover album of Bjork's Post. It's available for free download here, along with an interview with Bjork. (I figured this was momentous and cool enough to share without it seeming like 'corporate' shilling!)

But expect a lot of corporate shilling from me soon!

Wow, Other People's Mothers Have Dirty Mouths!

Doree's 3-day-old new site, Postcards From Yo Momma is already an internet sensation. Send her those Mom emails you forward to your friends.

I Remember When They Called My 'Hood "The Bel-Del"

And that didn't catch on any more than "SoBro" will. I wish someone would listen to me and call it "NoChiTo."

(Also, where's the part where someone named something? It's just a bunch of NY Mag restaurant listing links. I'm onto you, Buzzfeed.)

I'm Locked Out of Gmail, And Very Unhappy

(Update back in for now. That sucked though. Keep in mind it could happen to you!)

It's been (at least) SIX HOURS:

Temporary Error (502)   

We’re sorry, but your Gmail account is currently experiencing errors. You won’t be able to use your account while these errors last, but don’t worry, your account data and messages are safe. Our engineers are working to resolve this issue.

Please try accessing your account again in a few minutes.

Gmail is my brain (and the place where all of my email accounts go.) If anyone has any ideas on how to resolve this (I took all of the advice here already. Nothing) please email me at my temporary address [email protected].