Lindsayism.com

The Indomitable Spirits of Decision '08

Last night I realized that if this election has come down to:

A Mormon
A Black Guy
A Guy Who Was Tortured for 5 Years, and
A Woman

Then we're having an Indomitable Spirit election! Here's the classic Mr. Show sketch introducing Indomitable Spirit:

More Than This

* Via Jezebel: Thanks to the wonders of online video, we now know what Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett J in Lost in Translation. (I really wish it had been "rosebud is a sled.")

* I tried to comment on this Has David Cross Sold Out thread on The Onion, but it wasn't working and then I remembered I have a platform: everyone begrudging David Cross a regular income should state where they work and which multinational or otherwise evil corporation signs their paychecks. It's a kid's movie. DC still does free and benefit shows all the time, and work like this presumably allows him to do that stuff and develop more funny entertainment for the nice people. Deal with it. (Note: I know the actual post wasn't saying he sold out, the stupid commenters were.)

Fair Use and Bikes

* Virginia Heffernan forced to interview the Evil One:
"I’m looking at it, cropping it, resizing it, drawing on it, making it my own.”
That's so weird that he said that to the Times and that's also coincidentally going to be his defense in the lawsuits against him! Funny!

* "What Eats, Doesn't Shoot, and Leaves" : And you thought your last group hug was awkward!

* The Top Ten Comedy Sketches of All Time (One message boarder's opinion, but a good list nonetheless)  I'm firmly in "The Audition" camp for Mr. Show though, as I keep mentioning over and over as if anyone cares.

* Guess what? I've been hanging out with kids who ride bikes and now I want one too!! Mine got stolen a few years ago and I never replaced it. This one will get stolen too because I'm going to keep it on the street (5th floor walkup), so does anyone have an old crappy one they want to sell me for cheap? If so: email me!

Ritalin Readings Tomorrow, Whether I'm Alive or Dead

I've been sick since Sunday (Sunday! And today is the worst day!) but come out to RITALIN READINGS tomorrow night (as seen in this week's New Yorker) for the following awesomeness:

Alex Blagg!
Jon Friedman!
Greg Johnson!
Adam Lowitt!
Kristen Schaal!
Mandy Stadtmiller!
Links to their stuff and all the info is here.

Hosted by Me and Gabe Delahaye.

Also I went to the Human Giant 24 Hour MTV takeover last Friday night (Thanks to Jen and Amrit) and met Bob Odenkirk and told him about David's Law and it was so meta and awesome but I can't even blog about it appropriately because I have the flu and can barely care about anything at all, even something that important.

This is my favorite Human Giant sketch, though: Commercial Jingles (Watch both videos, also, look for Kristen Schaal in the second one.)

David Cross on The Michael Showalter Showalter

I.Love.This.Show:

The Day In Comedians Defending Themselves Online

Here's my rule:

When David Cross does it, it's okay
(Though, of course, inadvisable. Also, my Mormon joke, which I repeated in the comments, continues to be awesome.)

When Dane Cook does it, it's not.

and...scene!

A good friend of mine just tearfully admitted that she's never seen Mr Show. I said "Shhh, baby, it's okay, relax, I have all the DVDs, we'll have a little party and I'll cue up my favorites...BUT YOU HAVE TO LOVE IT OR WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS, CAPISCE?"

So anyway, I found one of my favorite sketches (and I believe, by consensus on nerdy comedy message boards I don't like to admit I read, the most classic Mr Show sketch of all.): THE AUDITION

(Also, I absolutely love it when I'm at work and I use the "are you using this chair" line at the beginning of a meeting and the person I'm talking to says "do you need it? For the audition?" Okay, it's happened exactly once but I still love it.)

"insurance is my game, raping was another game of mine"

Two things about this: Man ordered to wear "Sex Offender" t-shirt

1. I wonder if all his friends are going to start wearing the same t-shirt in solidarity, like when someone has cancer and all their friends shave their heads? and

2. This classic Mr. Show sketch is actually totally on Youtube!:

'I'm American and I Want to 'B' Famous'

• Video of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk's reunion on last night's (hilarious) Night of Too Many Stars autism benefit.
• Also, Steve Carell's bit made me fall out of bed laughing.
• The latest Improv Everywhere stunt: punking Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
• Video: John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton perform in San Francisco.
• Halloween costume idea's from Michael's (via Lifehacker) (There's a Michael's in Queens that's easily accessible from Manhattan, btw.)

Contact Lense Solution on a Plane!!!

* Wear your extremely specific set of sexual preferences on a tshirt. Or, you know, don't. Please.

* I saw this on Medical Mysteries on Primetime last night (shut up, I was sick) and it totally fascinated me: blind people who ride bikes, play basketball, and get around by their own adaptive echolocation. Like dolphins or bats. How cool is that???

* THE JOKE, IT WRITES ITSELF: Tampons are now contraband on planes. (You can no longer bring them unless they're in a clear plastic bag that you present to security screeners.) Oh no! Wherever shall we hide them?

* New word: Gy.no.ped: "one who pussyfoots around".
Reminds me of "double amputee", which is what I namecall people in arguments when they 'don't have a leg to stand on' (but I stole that from my ex boyfriend who probably stole it from a comic book or something.) (Also, when I say "arguments" I mean "Mr. Show or Kids In the Hall?*" type arguments.)

*Mr Show, of course.

David's Law!

I've had this rule for myself for the past few years called "David's Law." David's Law was signed into law in 2003, just after an unfortunate "I was that drunk girl" incident at the Tinkle Booze Cruise. David's Law makes it illegal for me, Lindsay Robertson, to speak to David Cross or any other public figure whom I admire (usually comedians, because I generally only admire funny people) unless introduced by someone else, directly spoken to, or if I already know them, or if it's for work.

Since David's Law was passed in 2003, it has helped many talented comedians unknowingly dodge the bullet that is meeting me, including but not limited to Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, Zack Galifianakis, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Janeane Garofalo, Thomas Lennon, and David Cross like three more times (though I was introduced to him without time to run away in February by a mutual friend, so that doesn't count, and all I said was "I've been a fan for a long time" and then escaped as fast as I could.)

Anyway, imagine my delight when I opened my copy of New York Magazine (it was $5/year for the subscription, okay?) last night and found a sidebar by David Cross himself entitled "Where Do I Know You From? How not to alienate That Guy From TV."

It really made me feel like the last three years of not annoying my heros has all been worth it. Also, it's really funny. David's first rule:

"If you don't know who he is, ask your friend. Or a stranger. Don't ask him. And certainly don't ask him to keep listing his resume until you realize he's the guy from Blade of Innocence 2 who lost his shoe and got killed by the vampire with outer-space AIDS."

Anyway, I've never really spoken publically (ha) about the incident that sparked David's Law, but I will say with a very red face that it may have included the sentence:

"I was definitely the only cute girl who was obsessed with Mr. Show in 1996."

Which, besides being horrifying in other ways, is sort of an insult. So, um, that's how a personal bill becomes a personal law.

accept no imitations

The first of TWO contests this week: win a Jesus is Magic poster autographed by Sarah Silverman! Just be the first to answer this question correctly:

What was the name of the band of underdogs on Mr. Show with Bob and David in which Sarah played "the woman"?

Email me with the name of the band in the subject line.

UPDATE: Congratulations to Matt Tobey, who won. The answer is, of course, "Indomitable Spirit".

(I should mention that Jesus is Magic opens this Friday in select theaters. Here's an idea: get people together and go see a 7ish show, then go back to your house in time for the premiere of Comedians of Comedy! (Note: I only plug stuff I really like and I've gotten nothing for it, just fyi.)