Lindsayism.com

Just So You Know, I'm "Boycotting" WNYC's New Morning Show, "The Takeaway"

So last summer, a good friend of mine who I'll call "Michelle" saw a job listing for writers for a new NPR PRI morning show (nullus on the title of the job listing.) She was applying, and because she knew I was keeping an eye out at the time, she sent it to me and encouraged me to apply too (a typical example of the kind of generosity that should be typical but isn't in media. Michelle, though made ungoogleable here for obvious current-job reasons, is awesome.)

Is It Sam Lutfi or Sam Lufti? No Media Outlet Seems Sure

Not that it really matters whether any media outlet, anywhere, is spelling the name of Britney's latest Svengali correctly (or even consistently), but here's the final answer (or as far as I will go to get one):

Did you mean: sam lutfi 

Yes this is a complex and heartbreaking issue with no easy solution

But The Sex Offender bridge is nicer than my apartment! Whuh-oh!

Also: the Ultimate Mom Email Forward: "honey stay away from this bridge."
Also: Something about trolls maybe?

Elizabeth Spiers on Why Media Companies Should Have R&D Departments

Great essay on the future of media.

I Write For, Like, The Business Section?

I did a triple-take when I read this sentence in the Times today in an article about Facebook's new ad model. It's not in quotes!:

So each user’s news feed will contain items like “Bobby Smith is now a fan of Toyota Prius” or whatever.

I think it's just wonderful, especially if it's editorializing.

Really Readymade? Really?

Okay, so I love ReadyMade as much as the next person-in-my-demographic, but lately every time I read it I'm like "Come ON! Really??" I really think they might be running out of ideas, because everything seems to fall into one of two categories:

1. "YUPPIE SHELTER MAG BY ANOTHER NAME":
"I found this one-of-a-kind huge contraption from the 1800s at an antique store and paid $400 for it even though neither me nor the store owner knew what it was, and painted it (with $5 worth of paint, here's how!) and now it sits in my huge loft and gets me laid. That's it. That's the story. Look at me!" [Example: This month's not online "old print dryer"; Also RM search feature sucks]

2. "LIKE MY OVEN MITTS? I AM SO LONELY.":
"I spent 21 hours knitting/sewing/whatevering this X out of a bunch of old Ys when I could have just bought one at a 99 cent store and spent the 21 hours cleaning old Ys off the street or volunteering or watching TV." [Example]  [Other Example]

On Quirk

Michael Hirschorn doesn't like "quirk". He has some good points (Napoleon Dynamite, Garden State, and You and Me and Everyone We Know tried too hard to be quirky and ended up annoying, but it's still good that they were made) but from what I can gather, he just doesn't like things that are too subtle for stupid people to get and that don't make a ton of money. (This American Life, Flight of the Conchords, Arrested Development, Wes Anderson movies other than Rushmore.) As if intelligent, subtle humor wasn't already in enough jeopardy, let's kick it some more! It's not like what he calls "quirk" is taking over our culture at a time with the best show on TV (the extremely quirky "30 Rock") is in danger of cancellation while exploitative reality shows and  "Two and a Half Men" thrive.

A plea to Mr. Hirschorn: thanks for giving the world Celebrity Fit Club and I Love New York, and celebreality shows in general. But can you leave the already-depressed people who work their asses off to entertain those of us with higher standards alone? We're already hard enough to please, and they're already hearing a constant refrain of "dumb it down, dumb it down, only a few people will get this". Some of us happen to prefer things that only a few people get. Sometimes those things are the only things that make us believe pop culture has anything to offer us. What you call "quirk", we call "originality", and while there will probably never be a huge market for it, we need more of it, not less.

What I Don't Get About the Whole Jane Thing

(This is now on Huffpo: What I Don't Get About the Whole Jane Thing)

Does She or Doesn't She?

Can you spot the fundamental gigantic huge inescapable flaw in this Times story about dumb blondes by a Cornell economist? Particularly pertaining to his hypothesis:

"if gentlemen prefer blondes, fair-haired women should pair more often with intelligent, more successful men, and since hair color is at least weakly inheritable, a positive correlation should also emerge between blondness and intelligence."

If not, it's after the jump.

It's Not the Wayback Machine, It's Time Out New York

This week (as part of what I just learned is an entire issue about hipsters), TONY presents a quiz: are you a hipster? OMG (but before OMG was said all the time)! It mentions Misshapes!! It's so deck! Here are some pitches for future quizzes:

* Are you a hippie or someone over 30 who doesn't smoke grass?
* Are you a flapper or whatever flappers called people who weren't flappers?
* Are you a slave owner, an abolitionist, a slave, a sharecropper, or other?
* Arst thou a witch?
* Do you have the plague or not?
* Do you walk erect?

If someone from Time Out is reading this, call me! There are like, so many other periods in history whose quiz-time has passed besides 2003!

 

for the love of god at least change the picture

Is it just me or did Esquire clearly just find some emo kid whose myspace page said "Blacksburg" and get him to blog for them? (I love Esquire.com but I just calls them as I sees them, and that is a myspace photo if I've ever seen one.)
 

Ask Jonathan Lethem Anything

Last month I really enjoyed Jonathan Lethem's essay in Harper's "The Ecstasy of Influence", where he used the words of others (credited in the end) in an essay about plagiarism. I also listened to him on the podcast of To the Best of Our Knowledge (where I learned, really late, that it's pronounced "Lee-thum")

Anyway, Jonathan Lethem will be doing a Q&A over at the Jane Magazine forums today at 4pm EST.

Also, aside from the fascinating issues raised by Jonathan's essay, I was delighted to find one of my favorite quotes in it: "Collage is the art form of the 20th Century", a quote I originally heard in one of my favorite movies (and plays), Six Degrees of Separation by John Guare. In the play/movie, the quote is attributed to Donald Barthelme, and I've come back to the idea again and again while living in and observing the early 21st (and often thought it applies more to our century than the last). In his essay's bibliography, Lethem gives this credit:

"the line about collage being the art form of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries...I heard filmmaker Craig Baldwin say, in defense of sampling, in the trailer for a forthcoming documentary, Copyright Criminals."

I just found it totally appropriate in the context of the essay that even this line was altered and then re-appropriated to defend the popularity of an art form that its original author (if Barthelme was the originator) could only dream of. (I know, they had sampling when Barthelme was alive, but it would be hard to argue that this quote was more descriptive of his times than ours.)

Anyway, neat.

R We H8ing? No.

Fact: It is not hypocrisy to plug something your friend wrote, even if she wrote it for a column you've loudly hated for years, if that thing your friend wrote is objectively good.

Therefore, it is with pleasure that I congratulate my friend Sandra Barron the inclusion of her essay in the new book, Modern Love: 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit, and Devotion.

Sandra was a guest on the Brian Lehrer Show this morning, and her segment can be downloaded or streamed here (2nd segment).

And here's Sandra's essay. See?

all my friends are bloggers like omg!

Well, this came out. Bloggers drink! On the LES! Sometimes together! Lindsay says silly things! AJ likes boobies!

While I'm bemused by the article (and I like Chris Shott, still), I would like to say a few words in my defense:

* Apparently, making it clear that you don't want your name used at all in an article is the easiest way to sound like a ditzy asshole in the lede. Publicists of chick lit authors: take note!

* I would never, ever, EVER say "blogger party" without simultaneously rolling my eyes and doing a funny voice to indicate beyond any doubt that I was being ironic. I have no proof that I didn't do that that night, but it wouldn't have come across in print anyway.

* I believe the real quote, to Choire Sicha, overheard by the writer whom I'd not yet met, was "Have I seen you recently? I think I had a dream about you because it seems like I've seen you recently." or something equally banal.

* The line "all my friends are bloggers" comes from my about page:

"I moved to New York, and started blogging, in 2000. (That's why all my friends are bloggers. It's like, totally okay.)"

I was, like, apologizing and being self aware and shit! See?

I'm totally willing to take one for the team, though, because seeing AJ Daulerio called a skirt-chaser in (pretty pink) print is worth it. I think I'll invite him to the next blogger party... in my pants!

show us on the doll where ian spiegelman touched you

"I don't mind talking shit about Andy Borowitz because what is he going to do? Write a "Shouts and Murmurs" piece about me?"

Best party crash ever. Actually, I don't usually read them. But this is just the funniest thing you'll read on the internet today, for sure.

this is our country

THANK GOD for the prominent disclaimer. Otherwise I would have felt really sorry for the Mars rover.

3.5 years, actually

This weekend's Times article about people finding out they were dumped from their ex's myspace/friendster/facebook profile or whatever is almost too self-parodying to even begin to make fun of, but I'm going to try.

For one, who did not, in the spring of 2003 when Friendster first came out, at some point think to themselves "Someone should do a story about how people in relationships use their Friendster profile to signify to their ex that they've moved on. Maybe I should do it because I really need money right now. Naw, it's too laaame. Give it three whole years and it'll be in Sunday Styles. Hahaha! Get it, me? Because the Times is so behind? Especially, particularly, the Styles section? I'm so funny."

Also, look at all the other parts of the profile. Where's the story on people who found out from a social networking site their friend was a fat Libra with only some college who makes less than 15k per year? Where are they?THEIR STORIES MUST BE TOLD.

Also, just this quote, no comment necessary:

“Seeing that was like a kick in the stomach,” said Micaela Coady, 30, a health researcher from Brooklyn who was so affected by an ex’s status shift that she abandoned her Friendster account (she now blogs instead)."

That is all.

Fox Bike Prank: Even Funnier Version

(Now with Jodi Applegate's back-from-commercial rant - hilarious.)

The Neistat Brothers also make funny shorts for the Showbiz Show with David Spade, including this shot-for-shot remake of the Jurassic Park trailer on (I knew the name sounded familiar!)

Don't listen to Jodi - if they're selling anything on the internet, be sure to buy it!

Drop Everything: Fox Bike Prank

Uh oh...Mom's mad.

(Best.Video.Ever. - Gawker )

the village of the damned bloggers

* You already can't swing a laptop bag around Lolita without hitting someone who thinks that blogging is going to make them rich. (And please, someone do that.) Now it's going to be even worse. These kids today with the scary dollar signs behind their eyes...

* Speaking of, my friend had a genius idea: I should have done that blogger-fashion photo shoot, but worn a fat suit and blacked out my teeth. Because that's what Amy Sedaris would do! (WWASD) Brilliant...

* Right now I'm wearing a new fragrance: Curious by Britney Spears. The main reason is I think it smells good, but the secondary reason is it's my attempt to bring irony into the realm of scent. I do think it smells good, though. Very delicate. Anyway, I can't wait for someone to ask me what my perfume is! (I also think it's funny that it's called "curious." Like "What's that curious smell?")