Lindsayism.com

Saw IV: Oh Yes, There Will Be Taffy

This is one of the funniest things ever.

Nobody Puts Whitney in a Corner

I love this comment on Whitney Pastorek's "rant against SNL" (FULL DISCLOSURE NAME DROP (the dumbest kind of name-drop): We're so like this (two fingers entertwined)):

"Why does an EW Reporter named "Debbie Cuntsler" automatically mean "Whitney Pastorek"...I mean, it just sounds like a TOTALLY made-up name."

Actually, commenter, here's some little-known Whitney trivia for you: she was actually born "Deborah Whitney Pastorek Cuntsler", but changed it when she moved to the big city, full of dreams. So, like, you'd be mad too.

lickity splits

* Jeff Barnosky on McSwy's: The Andover Grade Reports of George W. Bush:

"I simply cannot pass a student who insists on believing, and attempting to prove, this syllogism:

George is Awesome.
All Awesome people are George.
Therefore, George is Awesome (in bed)."

* Jonathan Swift is, like, frantically searching for a pen and paper in his grave right now.

* I did a little post about Andy Dick's freakout on my friend Mandy Stadtmiller on the Jane Music+Celebs blog.

* Get a free Fandango movie ticket, just by pretending to drink Scotch.

three words: ell. oh. ell.

boys get away with everything.

spit-take

I love this week's True Life Tale, by Jeff Johnson:

"As I remember it, every time I got to the word "apparently," a giant quittin'-time whistle would materialize, then sound, and every person who lived in my city would come outside and laugh until no noise was coming out of their mouths."