Lindsayism.com

Let Me Get This Straight...

I just got an email from a research company with whom I did a focus group a long time ago:

[COMPANY] is looking for select women who live in Manhattan only between the ages of 30 and 39 who use a (brand) (DISPOSABLE) Razor to shave their legs most often to participate in an interview and a SHAVING DEMONSTRATION IN YOUR HOME. This also involves a razor product trial, the product will be mailed out to you.

The discussion will take place in your home in Manhattan on Wednesday February 13th at 1:00pm and will last 2 hours.
The interviews are conducted by women and you will be videotaped doing a shaving demonstration.
You will receive a cash incentive of $175.00 for your participation.

At first you wonder about the people who let strangers come over and shave them for two hours on videotape (presumably in a tub), and then you feel really bad for the people who have to go over and shave strangers.

This is Now a Nicholas D'Agosto Fan Site

Last night I was watching The Office finale with Stephanie, and (slight spoiler alert!) just at the moment when Jan grabs her (hot) assistant Hunter and tells him  good luck with his band and all that, I grabbed the remote, paused, and screamed "OH MY GOD THAT'S THE KID FROM 'ELECTION'!" and grabbed my laptop (this was exactly as fun for Steph as it sounds, I'm sure.)

I found him in the IMDB listing for Election, where he's credited, oddly enough, as "Larry Fouch (as Nick D'Agosto)"

When I found his IMDB page, there was no mention of The Office on it, but I was still 100% sure that it was the same kid. Each of the over 50 times I've seen "Election", I've always wondered what happened to the kid at the end, the one who counts the votes and says earnestly and profoundly  "It's a squeaker, Mr. M. I've got Tracy by a vote. Just one vote." I always thought he was really good in that part.

ANYway at the bottom of  his IMDB there was already a message board post saying "Credited in tonight's episode of "The Office" (and the show wasn't even over yet, I love the internet.) Anyway, the only point of this post is to come back later and say "Yeah, I was kind of the first person in the world to write about him? So, yeah."

More Administrative Assistant Hunter next season, please!

Also, the finale was awesome. I think Zulkey and I made our Team Pam and Team Karen shirts (sold out!) way too early.  Maybe we should make some more with "I think Pam is kind of a bitch" on the back of the Karen ones...

   

"after an hour, shit got lame": the best link ever

There are certain moments, as a blogger, when one stumbles upon, quite accidentally, a spot on the internet, a link, a thing, that is so magnificent, so unintentionally genius, so of the zeitgeist, so transcendent of anything one would ever come across intentionally in one's meticulously Google-Reader-tagged world, that one is faced with the dilemma of wanting to keep it, to jealously hoard it to oneself, to write an entire novel in the voice of the Tom-Perotta's-Election-esque character who so un-self-awarely shared it with the world before anyone else gets that idea too and actually does it, to read aloud from it on stage at one's next Ritalin Reading, if one co-hosts such a reading series, to print it out and memorize every word, to marvel at its utter perfection as a piece of satire, in this very time and place, this April 2007 of our lives, and to wonder: will I ever create something as good as this, including gardens, friendships, and/or children?

"fun" with google

I like searching for sentences on Google, like this one: "Do not do a google image search for"

(I do not recommend this activity (esp the second result), though "finger butts" is totally SFW!)

If you're a normal person, here's another search I like: "And then it hit me"

Gawker for pastors....flocker?

I just saw this on the typepad "most recently updated blogs" list and it struck me as cute: there's a lifehacker for pastors! Really!

I love Lifehacker, but the parody possibilities are endless (it seems wifehacker.com is available, for example. And hobohacker. For some reason this is hysterical to me.)

"I haven't seen it but I know what it is"

So I've known about the movie Diner, because everyone knows about the movie Diner, but until this weekend when a friend brought it over and forced me to watch it, I had no idea that Diner was actually one of the best movies ever! Why didn't anyone tell me???? It was made in 1982, yet it totally holds up! It directly influenced so many TV shows and movies (Seinfeld, particularly), yet it still feels fresh. After this weekend, I asked around and most of my friends haven't seen it.

My favorite scene features newlyweds Daniel Stern (Shrevie) and Ellen Barkin (Beth) arguing over Shrevie's record collection (Beth is holding a record that she had placed out of order alphabetically):

Shrevie: Ok, now ask me what's on the flip side.
Beth: Why?
Shrevie: Just, just ask me what's on the flip side, OK?
Beth: What is on the flip side?
Shrevie: Hey, Hey, Hey, 1958. Specialty Records.
[Beth nods blankly]
Shrevie: See? You don't ask me things like that, do you? No! You never ask me what's on the flip side.
Beth: No! Because I don't give a shit. Shrevie, who cares about what's on the flip side of the record?
Shrevie: I do! Every one of my records means something! The label, the producer, the year it was made. Who was copying whose style... who's expanding on that, don't you understand? When I listen to my records they take me back to certain points in my life, OK? Just don't touch my records, ever! You! The first time I met you? Modell's sister's high school graduation party, right? 1955. And Ain't That A Shame was playing when I walked into the door!

When this scene ended I jumped up to rewind it, for this character is the first known movie archetype of........

EVERY GUY I'VE EVER DATED!

(For the record, I would stand a better chance than Ellen Barkin of 'knowing what was on the flip side', metaphorically, but I've always thought the alphabetical stuff was over the top.)

Anyway, Netflix that shit, pronto!

the original dance dance revolution

I was searching for pictures of Bigfoot (long story, just got a "forest" photo wall mural that I want to insert a pic of Bigfoot into) and found this.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT? I really really want it so I can reenact that scene from "Big" with my friends (or, more likely, make a new friend based on his or her willingness to reenact that scene from "Big" with me.) But alas, I don't think it will fit in my apartment. And I don't know how to play piano with my feet.

Instead, let's just all watch that scene from "Big" together. And remember.

hangin' on the beach of the great salt lake

Wholesome Swimwear: because Mormons need to swim, too!

Also, I just thought of a Mormon pickup line:

"I'm not wearing any special underwear."

Current Obsession: Indigo Children

I was listening to the podcast of NPR's To the Best of Our Knowledge yesterday during my commute, and they did a segment on Indigo Children (click the link above to listen). I've been obsessed with the hilarious concept of Indigo Children ever since I first read about them in the fashion and style section of the New York Times in January (a must-read.) Basically, the idea behind Indigo Children is this:

"My child isn't obnoxious, self-absorbed, unmannerly and unlikeable because I've raised him or her with zero discipline, given him or her a trophy for just showing up and allowed him or her to run ramshod over his parents and everyone else s/he encounters rather than damage his or her precious self esteem...no...s/he's obnoxious, self-absorbed, unmannerly and unlikeable because s/he's here to save the world!"

If anything you've ever read, seen or heard about parenting in this day and age is like a big huge Post-it note the size of a Times Square billboard reminding you to refill your Nuvaring prescription, I think you'll find the concept of Indigo children to be the most "of course, now, here, at this precise time and place in the entire history of the world...of course" thing ever. We who are either child-free or in the minority of people who are raising children rationally no longer lack for a one-stop-shop shorthand for the anxiety and ennui we face when we think about what the world will be like when these little tyrants come of age and start being in charge of shit. It's now all wrapped up in one iconic, easy-to-remember-because-it-has-a-color-in-it brand: The Indigo Child.

Anyways, that was my little rant.

I thought it would be funny to make tee shirts ridiculing the Indigo Child "phenomenon" but apparently they're already out there.

Suggestions:
"Indigo means Annoying"
"My honor student beat up your Indigo Child."
"Please Curb Your Indigo Child"
"Indigo F**k Yourself" (okay that's just mean. and absurd.)

I found this interview with an Indigo Child expert who is helping the people of Europe understand their little messengers from the Universe. This part was funny:

SB: How do you explain the truth to the German mothers of Indigos?

CH: This is a problem. In America you can talk of a ''new race'' of children, but you can't do that in Germany. If I'm working with groups in other countries I can speak about this, but in a group of average mothers in Germany you can't talk about that.

SB: Is that because of Hitler?

CH: Yes, that's why.

don't miss "johnny depp"

Last week, Kambri sent me to this amazing site where I was enthralled for, well, minutes, but that's a lot of web-enthrallment for me: celebrity lookalikes for hire. Like Unfortunate David Schwimmers 1:

And 2:

And Julia Roberts:

These aren't even close to being the funniest ones, I just got tired of uploading photos on a free site because of blogger sucking. The site must be fully explored to be appreciated.

UPDATE: Apparently this was on CityRag in April, I have no idea how I missed it!