Lindsayism.com

Ritalin Readings Tomorrow, Whether I'm Alive or Dead

I've been sick since Sunday (Sunday! And today is the worst day!) but come out to RITALIN READINGS tomorrow night (as seen in this week's New Yorker) for the following awesomeness:

Alex Blagg!
Jon Friedman!
Greg Johnson!
Adam Lowitt!
Kristen Schaal!
Mandy Stadtmiller!
Links to their stuff and all the info is here.

Hosted by Me and Gabe Delahaye.

Also I went to the Human Giant 24 Hour MTV takeover last Friday night (Thanks to Jen and Amrit) and met Bob Odenkirk and told him about David's Law and it was so meta and awesome but I can't even blog about it appropriately because I have the flu and can barely care about anything at all, even something that important.

This is my favorite Human Giant sketch, though: Commercial Jingles (Watch both videos, also, look for Kristen Schaal in the second one.)

I've been to too many 'blogger parties'

Scene: Comix, right before Fresh Meat last night. I'm talking with a photographer friend, who is there with his camera.

Me: (After chatting for a bit, motioning to the camera on his table) "Don't take any of me, please?"

Photog: "Well, actually, I..."

Me: "--Oh my god, because you're here to take photos of the performers."

Photog: "Yeah, yeah...not the...(pause) audience."

Me: "Oh my god, I am such an ass."

(And Scene!)

I am such an ass.

I also broke "David's Law" by attempting to speak intelligently to David Rakoff, who is one of my all time heroes, when he was clearly and obviously trying to leave the comedy club as fast as he could (he was amazing, by the way.) All I can remember is saying "I hate "Rent" too!"

Wince.

(BUT: Elizabeth's stand-up debut was even better than I expected, and I expected it to be great. She. Can. Do. Anything.)

David's Law!

I've had this rule for myself for the past few years called "David's Law." David's Law was signed into law in 2003, just after an unfortunate "I was that drunk girl" incident at the Tinkle Booze Cruise. David's Law makes it illegal for me, Lindsay Robertson, to speak to David Cross or any other public figure whom I admire (usually comedians, because I generally only admire funny people) unless introduced by someone else, directly spoken to, or if I already know them, or if it's for work.

Since David's Law was passed in 2003, it has helped many talented comedians unknowingly dodge the bullet that is meeting me, including but not limited to Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, Zack Galifianakis, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Janeane Garofalo, Thomas Lennon, and David Cross like three more times (though I was introduced to him without time to run away in February by a mutual friend, so that doesn't count, and all I said was "I've been a fan for a long time" and then escaped as fast as I could.)

Anyway, imagine my delight when I opened my copy of New York Magazine (it was $5/year for the subscription, okay?) last night and found a sidebar by David Cross himself entitled "Where Do I Know You From? How not to alienate That Guy From TV."

It really made me feel like the last three years of not annoying my heros has all been worth it. Also, it's really funny. David's first rule:

"If you don't know who he is, ask your friend. Or a stranger. Don't ask him. And certainly don't ask him to keep listing his resume until you realize he's the guy from Blade of Innocence 2 who lost his shoe and got killed by the vampire with outer-space AIDS."

Anyway, I've never really spoken publically (ha) about the incident that sparked David's Law, but I will say with a very red face that it may have included the sentence:

"I was definitely the only cute girl who was obsessed with Mr. Show in 1996."

Which, besides being horrifying in other ways, is sort of an insult. So, um, that's how a personal bill becomes a personal law.

Seinfeld, It Wasn't

(Photo by The Apiary. Bad photoshopping by me.)
Last night I gathered a ragtag gang of misfits to go to UCB's live talk show, "Bro'in Out" with guests Paul Rudd, Judah Friedlander, Gavin McIness and Tim Harrod. As we stood in the long line to get in, this aggressive photographer-chick was taking pictures of people on the line. Nobody in my group wanted to be photographed, so we blocked each other. Good thing, too, because turns out those photos were taken so that Gavin McIness could make fun of them, Vice dos and don'ts style, live on stage. It was, well, mean. Paul Rudd was great though and Judah brought out some pieces from his bad art collection, which has been online for a while but just never stops being funny. After the show, as Paul Rudd loosened his tuxedo necktie and smoked a cigarette just a few feet from us outside, David's Law became painfully relevant, but was dutifully, wistfully obeyed.

The Apiary has more pictures and a recap.

(Oh, at one part of the show, one of the hosts raised his glass and said "We just want to say "Congratulations, Hamas." The audience laughed and a girl behind me asked another girl "What did he say" and her friend answered "Something about pajamas.")

David's Law

I'm back from L.A., and:

* Last Laugh '05 was and will be really funny and good. Mark my words. Here are some previews - lots more to come.

* This weekend I thought a lot about David's Law. Named after a particularly awkward "I'm that drunk girl and you're my hero" encounter with David Cross in 2002, David's Law makes it illegal for me, Lindsay Robertson, to speak to a celebrity unless spoken to. David's Law was soooooo hard to obey this weekend, surrounded as I was by my comedy heroes, especially when Sarah Silverman literally ran into me, but I did it. It was really really hard. At one point I told my coworker "This is my level of self respect. This (hand ever so slightly lower) is how much I want to tell Sarah Silverman that I want to grow old with her." But I didn't! I was good! Yay for me. yay.

I promise I'll blog about other things besides Last Laugh this week. But seriously, it's going to be really good. I promise.