Lindsayism.com

I'm Guest Blogging On Jezebel This Week

I'm at Jezebel this week through tomorrow (then back to NY Mag Fri-Sun). Today, I felt sorry for Tucker Max.

This Is Why We're Old: Part 2

The same 23 year old, on his neighbors complaining about the noise in his apartment:

him: I kind of want to install one of those decibel-based stop signs like we had in kindergarten.

me: Where did you go to kindergarten? THE FUTURE???

WE ARE ALL VERY OLD.

[Previously]

Maybe One Day Everyone In Hollywood Will Have A "No Man."

I would like to offer my services as a celebrity honesty consultant. I will be paid by celebrities to be 100% brutally honest with them about their image, their work, and, especially, their proposed plastic surgery choices. I'll be the one and only person on their payroll to do this, and the only way I can fail at my job is by protecting them from the truth. I will offer opinions only when asked, or, if the celebrity chooses, whenever they occur to me. THIS IS REAL. I can be reached at the email address to the right. All inquiries guaranteed confidential.

Blogging Around, Marc Maron's New Podcast, And David Cross's Sudden Sunny Outlook

Programming note: Today and tomorrow I'm guest blogging at Daily Intel. 

Tip to add value to boring programming note: I've been greatly enjoying Marc Maron's new WTF podcast, available every few days for free on iTunes. There are a total of seven so far, and they're all fantastic, but number six was amazing because David Cross called in, and aside from the other many interesting things about the conversation, holy shit, David Cross sounds SO HAPPY! It's unbelievable and wonderful and if you're a DC fan, you definitely need to listen to it. [Thanks to Punchline Magazine for plugging WTF so hard in the past few weeks I had to succumb and listen even though I thought I already had too many podcasts.]

Allison From Intervention Is Doing Really Well Now!

Intervention did a check-in show this week with Allison, the former duster-inhaler and (intentionally) hilarious person a lot of people got a little guiltily obsessed with last year, including me (I was, um, Allison for Halloween). She is now not only clean, but she's helping others by sharing her story of the dangers of inhalant abuse. And she looks great. And she's still a total pain in the ass to her family, but in a more normal way. I love Allison! If you missed it, you can watch the whole thing in parts here (the last segment is the best.)

"Cosmo Is The Onion For Feminists"

This post about this month's issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine by LaToya Peterson is hilarious. I think she's onto something with The Onion comparison. It's impossible to read about the beer-stealing trick and the thong thing without imagining a writer's room.

I'm Diablo Cody's Street Team This Week, Apparently

Yesterday I wrote about loving Jennifer's Body on Jezebel, and today I'm the guest on Slate's Spoiler Special podcast, talking about the movie with the wonderful Dana Stevens, whose kickass review is making a lot of waves today. Both the podcast and Dana's review are here.

(And I think that probably concludes my whirlwind JB publicity tour.)

The Mountain Goats Are Coming To The Colbert Report

Remember when we learned that Stephen Colbert is a Neutral Milk Hotel fan? More evidence of his impeccable taste in music:

"The Mountain Goats are slated to make their late night television debut on "The Colbert Report" on Tuesday, October 6 at 11:30 p.m. ET/PT. In concurrence with their performance, colbertnation.com will stream their upcoming album "The Life of the World to Come."

- The CC Insider

This is amazing news. I still have friends who have never heard the Mountain Goats. And everyone should hear the Mountain Goats! It's pretty awesome that SC is using his show to share them with the world. (The Flaming Lips are coming to the show on another night, and they're great too, but already hugely famous, so not as surprising.)

Helicopter Girlfriending

I liked it better last year, when they were drunk and Jennifer talked the most:

More Weekending

Once again today I'm writing Daily Intel and Vulture. So get your Sunday news from me! Or go outside. Either way.

Weekending

I'm writing on/scribbling all over NY Magazine's Daily Intel and Vulture blogs today and tomorrow. Wheee! All my posts on both can be found here.

William Shakespeare Comes Back As A Baby Squirrel

(I'm not sure who would be interested in this but I put it on YouTube to show some friends so may as well put it here, too.) While we were perusing the in-church giftshop at Trinity Church (where Shakespeare is buried) in Stratford-Upon-Avon earlier this month, a baby squirrel that seemed totally unafraid of people ran inside. So I stuck my flipcam in its face, naturally:

Five minutes later, "Willie" the squirrel was seen happily eating a nut in the ancient graveyard outside. (But I do think the church lady called the RSPCA, in case anyone is worried.)

The New Yorker Unmasks Amelia Earhart As A Lazy Famewhore

Judith Thurman's Amelia Earhart piece in this week's New Yorker is fascinating, as most of her work is (I loved her recent Laura Ingalls Wilder/Rose Wilder Lane piece), but I'm noticing a degree of absurdity creeping in to her deliciously catty, un-official "Takedowns Of Famous Heroines" series. In the Earhart piece, tied to the upcoming movie about her starring Hilary Swank, Thurman turns what seems to me to be an overly judgmental eye on the famously famous pilot. Here are a few of Earhart's "sins" in the article:

Thinking she had something to say even though she didn't even finish college:

"Read closely, however, Earhart’s life is, in part, the story of a charismatic dilettante who lectured college girls about ambition yet never bothered to earn a degree."

Doing whatever it is she supposedly did in this sentence about a '90s Apple ad (with the official Apple slogan, I might add.):

"The slogan that appeared with a gauzy, doe-eyed photograph of Earhart in a white helmet was “Think Different.” (She thought of herself not only as different but as a special case to whom most ground rules didn’t apply.)"

(Who does that remind me of? Oh, ANY MAN WHO EVER DID ANYTHING.)

Being as un-shy as a particular famous man who is regarded around the world as a beloved, brave, and original hero:

"She quotes the great aviator Elinor Smith, who was still flying in 2001, at eighty-nine: “Amelia was about as shy as Muhammad Ali.”

"Aay-hug-uuuuh!" Indeed.

Somehow it's okay when people train their babies to imitate Stephen Colbert:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Exclusive - Dancing Baby
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Protests

I don't know why it's okay, it just is. (Via CC Insider.)

Shia Taps In To The Next Big Thing

If you know who Carey Mulligan is (October 9th!), you will be deeply disturbed by the news that she's already dating Shia LaBeouf. (via heartonastick, whose subject line was the appropriate: "noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!")

Jumping Back In

My trip to London was AWESOME. Anyway, one thing I noticed over there was that as big as the Jaycee Dugard story was here, it was ten MILLION times bigger over there (newspapers even complained that Ted Kennedy's death was "burying the story".) Tangentially related, this very funny BBC news blooper from that story:

(Thanks for the tip, Gemma!)