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LDN

There probably won't be anything here for a week because I'm going to London tonight. (It's my first time going anywhere that requires a passport, isn't that just precious?) When I come back I expect to be exactly like Karen from Pulling. Enjoy penis shark!

Oh, and this is hilarious.

It's Penis Shark: The Shark With The Penis In Its Mouth!

(Um, I'm writing on NY Mag's Daily Intel today and I tried as hard as I could to make a case for putting this there, but there was just no way. But I had to share it, so here it is.)

Check it out, some people caught a shark in the Everglades and gradually realized it had a huge (other shark's?) penis in its mouth:

I love the people trying to be all polite about it at first. "What is that?"

Pulling

I wrote a gushy ode to the BritCom "Pulling" on Jezebel, after first reading about it last week on The Awl and watching every episode in one sitting. Pulling is so awesome you will love it even if you're a boy!

Guest Blogging: Daily Intelligencer

I'll be a guest editor today through Tuesday on New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer blog.

Where Is Patton Oswalt When We Need Him?

Just months after the carb-on-carb crime that is Domino's Pasta Bowls comes KFC's Double Down. Two fried chicken patties serve as the bun in a bacon and cheese sandwich:

I'm starting to think there are two rival fast food product R&D teams out there competing in a "But let's see if they'll eat this!" contest.

(Via TIWYF)

(Patton Oswalt, most famous critic of KFC's Famous Bowls, is currently celebrating his new comedy album's #4 placement on iTunes. I bought it and it's great!)

The Woman's Guide To Football

From back when households had only one TV. "It's just a jumble of bodies and I don't understand it!":

(Via Everything Is Terrible.)

Henry The Little Dancing Boy Has Sold Out. No, Seriously.

Remember Henry, the little boy who danced a little too well not to creep us out? Well, he's selling Vitamins in England. FOR REAL:

Thanks for the tip, Louis!! (Related: Henry's first day of internet fame.)

Stephenie Meyer's iTunes Playlist Is Suspiciously With-It

Vulture checks out Stephenie Meyer's celebrity playlist, and it's all Stereogum-approved and shit. I wonder if Apple employs a person whose entire job is to create "hip" playlists for celebrities. If so, it would be awesome if that person got disgruntled and created a totally uncool playlist for someone as an act of revenge. Except that no matter how hard this person tried to make it lame, it would still seem cool! It's a paradox! This person would burn the midnight oil, toiling night and day over this Ultimate Worst Playlist Ever, but even at this, s/he would fail. That person with that fictional job at Apple just cannot win.

The Funniest Line I've Read Today

From this extremely sycophantic Mad Men fan site that I read for some reason:

"So here’s the thing. When you spend the day on the set of Mad Men, you know that what you hear on the set of Mad Men, what you see on the set of Mad men, stays on the set of Mad Men."

They are really providing a valuable service over there!

This Should Be The Most Watched Thing On The Internet

I know this has already been everywhere, but I was in Florida last week, and I swear to god, everyone on the road was swerving around wildly the entire time, texting while driving. I'm not even exaggerating. It was nuts. It's still legal there. It was scary. So is this brilliant PSA. (If you've ever been in a car accident, get ready for a mild sting of PTSD maybe don't watch this. It's extremely realistic and I should have put a stronger warning here):

(Sorry to get all serious sauce!)

So Much Is Gonna Happen On The Next Episode Of Mad Men!

Prediction: the next episode of Mad Men, "Love Among The Ruins," will be action-packed. That's the only conclusion we can come to from the aggressively boring sneak-peek scene AMC put out to publicize it:

That's the only scene they could show! I'm so excited! Is it November 22nd yet?

Suck It, Hamptons!

I'm at the beach in the FL panhandle for the week, back for the first time in the summer in 8 years. After 8 years of enduring what pass for beaches up north, it's kind of hard to laugh at my home state right now.

(Bonus: friendly tropical colorful fish instead of hypodermic needles!) (Ok, back to being obnoxious *offline*, until the end of the week.)

This Is Still A Mountain Goats Fan Site

The Mountain Goats (John Darnielle) are/is doing a big huge international tour for the new album coming out Oct 6 which is about the BIBLE (!!) Which is appropriate, because John Darnielle is God. I just got my tickets for December 2nd at The Bell House, and now it seems I will spend the rest of my day being actively mad at my friends who aren't as excited about this as I am. One of my best friends claims to have never even HEARD of TMG!! (Not mad at him, just shocked.) Amazing. The other tour dates are at that link (sadly, no Tallahassee stop this time.)

Why I Love Rachel Dratch

Rachel on the red carpet at some premiere the other night. It's unlikely that I'll ever be on a red carpet, but now I know exactly what I will do.

"If You Can Achieve Puberty, You Can Achieve A Past"

This is a real (USA, TV) movie from 2003:

Fred Armisen And Elisabeth Moss In "Intervention Intervention"

This is great (and I love all the easter eggs for the Intervention superfans):

Intervention Intervention with Fred Armisen from Fred Armisen