In Honor Of This Math Rap, I Will Share My Own Math Rap From 1990

This went up on Everything Is Terrible today. It's a math rap. I wrote a math rap too!

So probably like most kids in 1990, I was assigned to write a math rap in the seventh grade, but I hated rap (And country! Right, other former closed-minded seventh graders?) But my favorite thing in the world at the time was "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel, so I performed my rap while slapping my hands on a table on the stage of the sanctuary of the church that my school was part of. Here are the lyrics that I remember:

Whole numbers, rounding off
Think about it, Gorbachev
(Something something)
(blah blah blah)
Marilyn Mon-roe!

We didn't start equations,
They were always goin' since the world's been flowin'
We didn't start equations,
But when we are gone, they will still go on and on and on and on...

Yeah. Kids are dumb. I hope Gorbachev thought about it. Also, only tangentially related, but there should be a contest where today's rappers compete to write the best song that starts out with the creatively limiting "My name is ____ and I'm here to say." Like, for charity. FUN! (Oops, time to break out the old "Highdeas" tag.)

Comments

[Uncle Grambo]

Me? I'm just hoping that the Russians love their children, too.

[Andy]

Lindsay, I question your commitment to stopping fake rap.
Math rap is a gateway rap which leads to other, worse, more annoying forms of fake rap.

[Wookie]

Oh my Gawww... I actually was exposed to this awful video in algebra II in high school. Thanks for posting it though because I hadn't found it on the interweb up until this point. Now I can marvel at it's awfulness until the end of time.