On the evening of May 18, 2008, I found this chicken finger in an order of chicken fingers from Rush Hour on the LES. I know it was May 18 because I moved to Brooklyn the next day:
I was excited about the chicken finger, and the next day, even though I was really hungry from packing to move and I'd already thrown away all my other food, I still didn't eat the chicken finger, even though I almost ate the chicken finger. It was a dilemma, actually, at the time, for real. I carefully moved the chicken finger from my old house to my new house, where it's sat in the freezer waiting for me to get a working camera and excitedly blog about it for three months.
When I moved into my new house, I carefully instructed my new roommate not to throw away the chicken finger, which was at the time my only contribution to the freezer.
On the evening of the move, I made an AIM custom away message that said "Gone to the store because the only food I own is a chicken finger shaped like a bunny rabbit!" I must have checked the box labeled "save for later use", because it's still an away message option.
I've shown the chicken finger to like five people who have happened to have been over when I noticed it in the freezer.
So last week I was watching Step Brothers and (spoiler alert) there's this part where they eat chicken fingers shaped like dinosaurs or whatever, which I have totally known about for as long as anyone has known about them, and it dawned on me: My bunny-shaped chicken finger was not special or accidental or a sign from god that I was unhappy in my little tiny fifth floor walkup and that this move to Brooklyn was a good thing. It was just an animal-shaped chicken finger that got mixed up with the blob-shaped chicken fingers in the chicken finger factory in Arkansas with bad labor practices or whatever, and I should have eaten it when it was still (somewhat) edible.
There is no bunny god.
But more important than its proof of a lack of bunny gods, the chicken finger and my excitement about it are proof that my friends lie to me. Lies of omission. Because it is totally obvious that that is not an accidental chicken finger. Anyway, you know who you are, friends who let me be way too excited about that chicken finger. I'm throwing it away now. I hope you're happy.
If you had posted that damn thing on eBay and described it as being shaped like the apostle Peter, the bidding would still be going hot and heavy.
Posted by: Josh Rosen | August 04, 2008 at 10:18 PM
two things:
1. I do not believe this chicken finger was intentionally animal-shaped. I mean, look at it. That is a miracle chicken finger. It is obvious.
2. Also, it is not shaped like a chicken. It is shaped like a buffalo with antlers.
Posted by: John | August 05, 2008 at 12:52 AM
That is an amazing nugget. No way are there bunny-shaped nuggets out there in the world; I mean, bunnies are even the secondary Peeps character. No chicken factory out there is like hey, lets go capture that bunny-chicken finger market. Because there isn't one - no one really likes to eat bunnies unless they are purely chocolate. Do not toss your miracle bunny nugget!!
Posted by: Laura | August 05, 2008 at 09:38 AM
That chicken finger is a cultural Rorsach test. You see in that chicken finger what is the deepest essence of yourself.
Posted by: Ron Mwangaguhunga | August 05, 2008 at 01:49 PM