Cliche Number Whatever: Blogging About the Subway

This morning I forgot to bring reading or listening material on the subway, so, desperate for any sort of media to consume, I glanced at a weathered copy of the Daily News at my feet. I was moving the page with my shoe to see the rest of a visible article, when the middle-aged mentally challenged woman next to me started screaming and gesticulating toward the paper. "No! No!! STINKY STINKY STINKY NO! Don't pick it up!" and making these glub-glub sounds that made no sense in any language. I quickly turned myself away from her but she wouldn't shut up. It was embarrassing not just that she was drawing attention to me, but because she was calling me out on reading a newspaper that, being on the floor of the subway, was clearly in the "feces-covered trash" category. I was reading literal garbage, and I was disgusting.

As I huddled into my coat, trying to pretend I wasn't a part of this drama, I noticed two separate women look up from their two separate copies of "Eat, Pray, Love" and purse their four separate lips in silent judgment.

I fucking hate that book.

Comments

[chris ives]

Eat, Pray, Love, Judge...

I'm sorry that the crazy subway lady went bananas on you, but that made for an awesome story!

[Abhi]

you should have yelled at them, "in one year you will be reading WHO MOVED MY CHEESE - that's right, keep eating, praying, loving"

[Mary Mouse]

When Lindsay swears, you know she's really serious.

[Harris Bloom]

My girlfriend's book club read that book last month. This month they're readin' US Weekly.

No, I'm not kidding.

Aitch

[Abhi]

or you should have just slapped the old nut case hard across her face thrice, yelled "Grandma, you forgot to take your medication again", and huffed off at the next station

[Ron Mwangaguhunga]

Phrase it in language that they'd understand. You should have explained to the "Eat,Pray, Lovers" that this was your path – that is all it ever was. The subway was your transformative journey, and Ms. Glub-glub was a barrier.