The Definition of 'Insult to Injury':
Sustaining a near-life-threatening papercut one second after reading Jaime Pressly's "What I've Learned" in (the paper version of) Esquire.
Also, if you dare read it (at least you won't bleed from the pinky, just the eyes), you'll learn that we can add Jaime to the list (is someone keeping a list? Someone should keep a list) of celebrities who claim to have originally been booked on one of the 9/11 flights.
BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT, mmmkay?
I actually like the What I've Learned feature, but have they run out of people who've learned things that aren't celebrations of their own accomplishments? I'm looking at you, Clive Davis. I'll remember your immortal words of wisdom the next time it's my turn to sign the Grateful Dead and Lou Reed to record deals, or Dionne Warwick calls me to complain about something. I mean, like, what?
I mean, shit, I've learned that I'm awesome too but that's clearly not the point of the assignment.
Alan Arkin's was good, though. And the joint interview with Silverman and Kimmel was fascinating. I especially liked Sarah's advice to Jimmy on getting along with one's parents:
"Here's what Sarah taught me about getting along with my own parents: Try to pretend they're someone else's parents. If you do that, the little things that annoy you that don't annoy anyone else are much more tolerable."
Just in time for the Holidays!
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