Lindsayism.com

"it's like...indoor New Jersey"

I'm being a business hippie today, but here are a couple funny things:

• Photos of Leto attacking. The teeth are so canine. Also, even I'm starting to get bored. Just kidding, I'll never get bored.
• This is funny: Zack Kahn's latest video cameo: Saw.

If you don't vote Republican, you're an all wet nogoodnik scrub!

Go here and click "listen to the ads"

I'm partial to #17. But then, I'd snuff my own seed toot sweet!

shhhh, just let me think it

(Truly scary. Photo by Jen.) (Update: here's another one. What red eyes I have! Please notice I painted 30 Seconds to Mars stupid symbols on my tshirt with fabric paint.)

I was Jared Leto on Saturday, which was Halloween for me (and apparently most of the city). Yes, I had to tell people and hold up my Summer's Emo Douche (Jared's home sweet home) for them to get it, and by 3 am I was loudly complaining to anyone who would listen and roll their eyes that I was "So ready to be pretty again," but it was my most fun Halloween in New York, for sure.

As my friends at the post-apocalyptic Spring Street party (frat boy interlopers unsuccessfully attempting to scavenge my group's well-hidden beer stash: "I heard the guy who lives here owns a hedge fund.") can attest, all it takes is a few sprays of temporary black hair dye and some eyeliner to turn me into a full on BADASS. So much so that I might be disguising my identity in order to verbally eviscerate bathroom-line-cutting-prostitutes at regular parties in the future. I just need a superhero name...

More Leto fun: Best Week Ever mashes up their favorite Leto movie moments.

this is our country

THANK GOD for the prominent disclaimer. Otherwise I would have felt really sorry for the Mars rover.

It's a Halloween Douchebag Miracle!

Oh. My. God. Just as I was putting together my best Halloween costume ever (third from left, duh!) Best Week Ever posts this exclusive:

Jared Leto totally allegedly and apparently lightly assaulted my friend Scott Stereogum last night and it's a huge gigantic deal!

So it's probably not that big of a deal (haven't talked to Scott yet but his post about whatever MTV event this happened at last night proves that his "blogging finger" (hilarious, Blagg) is intact.)

I just want remind everyone that I pointed out JL's douchebaggery first. Really. First.

(The "celebrity douchebags" category is almost completely dominated by him as well.)

"whatever, girl!"

When bloggers start thinking they're celebrities, bad things can happen.

sad but predicted

"We've lost the Marshall Stack."  (at least on weekends)

GET A FIRST LIFE!

• Poor bastard of the week.
• The last seven websites Carson Daly visited, including Deadspin. (And of course he includes his own.)
• Six word stories: I kinda think William Gibson (and others) could have done better.
• Like, really? Do I have to? Can't I just be a regular person who...guys? Where did everyone go? Sigh. Nobody tell the Unabomber.

(Last two links from fimoculous)

Update re: title line: I am (only) the 114th person to say that.

Gawker Continues Trend of Always Hiring People I Like

In Blog-nerd news: My friend Emily Gould (of Emily Magazine) is the new Co-editor of Gawker! So much awesome. Joining her as Associate Editor is Doree Shafrir, whom I've only met twice but already like very much. They're making some really inspired choices over there lately. Go Emily and Doree!

Barneyism.com

Scott Stereogum, who knows of my love for the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, tipped me off to this contest. I guess if I wanna win I should think back to my early Williamsburg days in New York, when I would actually say things like "you have to come to The Abbey tonight, it's going to be legendary" (but without Barney's inflection, of course.)

I'm drawing a blank, but I hope someone reading this blog post enters and wins. Thanks, Scott!

this must be what dating a model is like

The two things I said to my friends immediately after "Marie Antoinette"'s final credits rolled:

"Is it pronounced "maird or merd?" and

"I wish the Katrina victims had done that to the Bush family"

(Oh sh*t merde! I gave away the ending!)

Also, trivia:

"the isolation of the cocaine alkaloid was not achieved until 1855." - Wikipedia

(Though it has been pointed out that Chuck Taylors, Bow Wow Wow, The Strokes, New Order, saying "thanks" or "kinda", and looking and/or smelling remotely attractive weren't invented until after the 1700s either.)

Also: We get it! There's a Hollywood/celebrity metaphor going on there! Yawn.

I just didn't buy it, sorry. Sofia should spend more of her daddy's money on wine for the nice people to drink and less on ten hour music videos with no sympathetic characters. I still like The Virgin Suicides, though.

I Googled it and Everything

I posted today on the Jane blog: Prediction Reality: Ugly Betty Chic

(At least I have multiple witnesses to my Times Styles Nostradamity.)

"Sometimes there's so much beauty...in the world...I feel like I can't take it...like my heart's going to cave in..."

Today is my favorite day because two equally awesome things happen today. In alphabetical order:

1. Mark Graham aka Whatevs aka Uncle Grambo and Kerry McGovern aka sosaysi aka The Senator MOVE TO NEW YORK! It's been the #1 thing I've been looking forward to in my life for the past two months. And now it's here. The presence of these two in my city will increase my personal happiness by a good 40%.

2. My beloved Stephanie Tillman aka Stiff aka Drinking Stiff finally returns from the "one month" trip to Europe she embarked upon last May 1st. I can now stop crying every time I walk by San Loco on Stanton, the last place I saw her face.

Yay.

"Together Forever. Or Else."

My post today on the Jane Music + Celebs Blog: Remember the movie 'Fear'? You should Netflix it.

that impression should FRAH!

Sarah Paulson's Nancy Grace on Studio 60 last night put Amy Poehler's inexplicably-praised Nancy Grace on SNL last week to such shame, I can't believe NBC(S) even let both go to air.

Nobody loves Amy P. more than me, but the trashy Southern accent is a thing of such intricate complexity that it should never be attempted except by those with family members who speak it fluently. I should know.

Amy Poehler - Burlington Mass

Sarah Paulson - Tampa, FL

No contest.

(But that said, I fully support all attempts to take down Nancy Grace, successful or not.)

Keep Smilin, Rach!

Totally out-of-context (pull) quote by Rachael Ray in this week's Entertainment Weekly's "Stupid Questions" section:

"I would smile all day long, every day, if it guaranteed a unicorn getting punched in the face."

from wbez in chicago...

My post today on Jane's Music + Celebs blog: Finally, This American Life Offers a Free Podcast (starting today.)

Another great podcast: The Sound of Young America (and this week's show features the always-aforementioned John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton.)

'I'm American and I Want to 'B' Famous'

• Video of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk's reunion on last night's (hilarious) Night of Too Many Stars autism benefit.
• Also, Steve Carell's bit made me fall out of bed laughing.
• The latest Improv Everywhere stunt: punking Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
• Video: John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton perform in San Francisco.
• Halloween costume idea's from Michael's (via Lifehacker) (There's a Michael's in Queens that's easily accessible from Manhattan, btw.)

I love him for his mind

You know when you're in middle school and you have to, at all times, have a boy to officially like even though you don't even really know what you'd do if he liked you back? Like, it's just part of your identity? Well, I'm not into celebrities as sexual objects but Paul Rudd is officially, forever, the celebrity 'boy that I like.'

(Thanks to Emily who got it from Towelroad.)

(blogger still sucks though)

I recently switched my RSS reader from bloglines to Google Reader. (So did Lifehacker, with all the details.)

I'm a bit of a Google Reader evangelist now -- I've been trying to get all my friends (particularly the bloggers) to switch. I'm writing for three blogs now and I don't know how I ever lived without the tagging feature. My tags include:

"Daily" (What I have to stay on top of no matter how busy I am, and favorites such as Golden Fiddle and Emily)
"Friend" (to keep up with my friends' personal blogs that aren't updated often - very useful as a cheatsheet before attending a party, if you're like me and everyone you know has a blog.)
"Useful" (Includes sites like 43 Folders and MB Toolbox)
"Comedy" (Every comedy site I find goes here)
As well as technorati search RSS feeds for my favorite subjects and people (Amy Sedaris, Patton Oswalt, etc)

The best thing about Google Reader is that in many cases it picks up blogs and sites that don't even have RSS! You just enter the URL of the site and 90% of the time, Google will find a feed.

Anyway, lately my main online timewaster has been looking for time-saving and organizational hacks -- oh the irony.

Sens-sens-senseo

My free Senseo coffee maker ($64 value) came today (with 18 free coffee pods!), so I thought I'd share the good news of how you can get one too. The curious might enjoy this FAQ:

What do I have to do to get this free item and screw over The Man?

Go here and fill out a survey. You don't have to give your credit card # or any of your friends' email addresses or sign up for other offers.

How does this survey involve the art of drama?

You will be playing a character who hosts a lot of regular gatherings, has a blog, and loves to share the good news of how important a good coffee maker is to one's fulfillment in life.

Should I fill out the survey with all the "right" answers?

Maybe, but I chose to fill it out using the second most influential-sounding answer. For example: my 'Ladies-only Sober Poker Night' meets bi-weekly instead of weekly. As do my 'Chick Lit Book Club Coffee Clatch' and my 'Stitch n Bitch n Rave About Household Appliances' Circle. My Desperate Housewives Watching Party meets weekly, however, for obvious reasons. But it does involve a (coffee) drinking game.

Don't you realize that it doesn't matter what you answer, everyone who fills out the survey will get a free Senseo, because after a few months of buying the exclusive Senseo-brand coffee pods it will have paid for itself?

Of course. But I don't really drink much coffee. I JUST LIKE FREE THINGS.

Don't you realize that by posting this on your blog, you are putty in the hands of the Senseo people, and the joke is, in the end, on you?

Yes, but I GOT SOMETHING FREE that at some point, some other sucker has paid for.

And you can, too.

"crowdsourcing"

What are your favorite Mountain Goats songs? Leave them in the comments?

(This isn't one of those things bloggers do to generate hits or whatever, I'm actually going to use the answers for something neat.)

Cringe/WYSIWYG Reading Next Wednesday 10/18

The websites aren't updated yet, but here's the lineup for next week's Cringe/WYSIWYG reading in which I'm beyond excited to be participating:

•    Sarah Brown (Cringe creator)
•    ME
•    Marc Balgavy
•    Joshua Newman
•    Jason Boog
•    Chris Hampton (WYSIWYG creator)

I think I'm more excited about this reading than any one I've ever done (even my own reading series) because:

1. I have saved everything. Everything.
2. I regularly go through my old diaries and poetry notebooks and wish I could share my hilarious adolescent pretentiousness with the world. (I actually have dabbled in that, and have read some stuff at Ritalin Readings over the years, but I'm taking this one reallly seriously.)
3. Seriously? Nobody on this earth was a more pretentious, "tortured", and unfortunately prolific teenage diarist and bad-poetry writer than yours truly. Please note that this is the only aspect of myself in which I have this kind of confidence. I'm not bragging here, because it's nothing to brag about, but I. Win. For an entire year, I wrote my diary as a series of daily letters to the writer Annie Dillard, mmmkay? On the outside of the diary I wrote "THE ANNIE LETTERS: 1993 - 1994, By Lindsay Celeste Robertson"

And Celeste isn't even my middle name.

Please come out to this reading, most especially if you're my friend. I'll need some moral support. Clearly. (Also, I never ask!)

Info: The WYSIWYG Talent Show's "CringeyWYG" performs Wednesday, October 18 at Bowery Poetry Club (308 Bowery between Bleecker and Houston). Doors open at 7:30 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Tickets are $7 at the door. For more information visit wysiwygtalentshow.org, queserasera.org/cringe.html, or www.bowerypoetry.com

"I just want to walk around and see what I can find"

Last spring, I watched the entire Up Series over a few weeks and wrote about it on the Jane Magazine blog. I'm still obsessed with this series of documentaries that follows an eclectic group of English children every seven years throughout their lives. The latest in the series, 49 up, has just opened in American theaters. You can watch the trailer and learn more about the films here.

I found this apt description in an online review of the series:

"It is our privilege...every seven years, to be given so intimate and respectful a window on the journeys of these dozen souls. And to be led in turn, inevitably, to examine our own lives, and to look at the lives of those around us with a longer view, a perspective that's something close to Divine."

That quote is from Christianity Today. (That's how transcendent this series of films is -- I agree with Christianity Today!)

Anyway, 49 Up is now playing:

In New York: at the IFC Center

In Los Angeles at Landmark Nuart Theatre

(Check local listings for other screenings.)

there is, however, no excuse for celine dion

There's an interesting little "debate" on Emily's site about The Mountain Goats. While I of course disagree, I like the way Emily framed it - in the respectful way I expect of one of the most curious and open people I've ever met. We all have bands that all our friends love but that we don't - there are several people who can bear witness to the fact that I hated Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea for the first 20 listens (I even, to my shame, perfected an impression). And now it's my favorite record of all time.

And as long as it's confession time, Bob Dylan? Fully and completely aware of his brilliance and importance but just not able to listen. And don't even get me started on mainstream hip hop - that debate always ends with me in tears (and all I ever argue is that one's taste in music cannot be PC or not PC!)  Shouldn't music, like food or (legal) sex, be completely unpolitical? You don't criticize a person for disliking avocados, even though avocados rule. You just feel a little sorry for them that they've missed out on the pleasure avocados have added to your own life.

(But all that said, that "titanica" commenter kind of has a point.)

martin amis might feel left out

(Background: my ex's band is called The Information. They live in Boston and are currently working on a new album.) He just popped up on IM:

Max: "Is it funny if we name our record "Beck"?"

Yes. Yes, it is.

I got a 1

Columbia Professor Wins Nobel Prize For Proving Only Thing I Remember About My A.P. Economics Class.

just in case anyone else watched The Bachelor

The part of Paris Hilton will be played by the poor man's Heather Graham.

(And then I turned it off. Forever.)

a lifetime's not too long

I was just picking out a Christian birthday e-card for Will Leitch (happy birthday, Will!) because the ironic co-opting of Christian commerce and culture will NEVER GET OLD as far as I'm concerned (I walk the walk with Michael W. Smith's "Friends" as my ringtone) and I saw this one, left, under the "humorous" section and it struck me as oddly inappropriate, considering it's for an audience of people who do believe the end is near and believe it will involve the eternal suffering of billions. But whatever, those crazy Christians, right?

Speaking of "crazy christians", Studio 60: you're on notice. Are we honestly supposed to believe that a middle aged writer for Vanity Fair reads comedy live-blogs of sketch shows? Or that anyone reads live blogs? Or that anyone besides us reads comedy blogs at all? Or that straight grown men in their 40's run around their offices harassing each other about whether or not they're still in love with their ex girlfriends? Also, if you're going to do an entire episode about stealing a joke, how hard would it be to make that joke...somewhat...funny?

Drop Everything and See The Devil and Daniel Johnston. Really.

I don't really do 'reviews' of things this good. Things this good do not need reviews. Just take a moment right now and put The Devil and Daniel Johnston at the top of your Netflix queue. Or take out your little book and write "rent TDaDJ asap" in it. Or go to a store and buy it. If you're any kind of curious or interesting person this movie (and Daniel himself) will fascinate and obsess you. And I know that's an obnoxious thing to say - that's just how amazing this story is! (Read about Daniel and the movie here.)

ONE CAVEAT: You must watch the extras...but do not look at the extras menu until you're done watching the entire movie. I cannot stress this enough - when you get to the main menu just hit "play movie". When you're done, watch the extras.

Brilliant.

UPDATE: SEEEEE???

Jessy Delfino's Pussy Is Magic!

Jessy Delfino goes viral! So. Much. Awesome:

(Via a lot of blogs, including Emily.)

More Jessy Delfino right here!

‘‘Everybody pretty much agrees that the relationship between elephants and people has dramatically changed’’

Everyone has to read this article in yesterday's NY Times Magazine about how we're destroying elephant society, and how the elephants are striking back in alarming ways.

I've linked to this before, but The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee (mentioned in the article) has this live video feed where you can watch rescued elephants live out their days happily. It's incredibly relaxing. You can also make donations and read the biographies of rescued elephants.

"what kind of a hippie am I? man, I'm a business hippie."

This is all I got today: Terry Gilliam pickets The Daily Show (in a fun way)

How I Feel About Fall TV

Because you're just dying to know...

Brothers and Sisters: Here's a tip: when you're doing a show about the patriarch of a family-run business and he dies suddenly at the end of the first episode, don't credit him in the opening credits as "Special Guest Star Tom Skerritt." (Also, can Rachel Griffiths only appear in shows where the patriarch of a family business dies in the first episode?)

The Class: Trying too hard.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: It doesn't have to be remotely believable. I will still like it. But it's not remotely believable, except for how bad the sketches are.

SIX DEGREES: During the second episode, just as I was writing in my little notebook:

"Is there some kind of rule now that all 1-hour dramas must be at least 85% montage?"

The show went into a four minute montage, wherein Bridget Moynahan takes Campbell Scott shopping for nice clothes! And he comes out in different outfits! And she vetoes them! And adjusts his collar! While bouncy music plays! Apparently there wasn't a PA on the set to tell them this is is such a cliche that making fun of it is even a cliche.

Also, while New York is a place of infinite coincidence and random moments of chance or fate or whatever, two women from very different walks of life do not become bff at the nail salon. And people don't say things like "Nice Sonic Youth t-shirt. Did you get that at the vintage place on 12th and Hudson?" WTF? There are so many things wrong with this show, and it's so sad, because Campbell Scott and Hope Davis are awesome and Sarah Vowell had a speaking part in the first episode and I really wanted it to succeed.

How I Met Your Mother: Brilliant, duh.

this is awesome

My friend John Green (author, most recently, of An Abundance of Katherines), found this video (presumably while ego-surfing): some high school kids, for an English project, made a trailer for John's first book, Looking for Alaska. And it's adorable!!

details!

The Foley im transcript, put back in its original, innocent context.

Two Links.

* Nice practical joke: Your New Monkey

* Steve Carell says "whatevs."

John Darnielle is God

Here are some things about Saturday night's Mountain Goats show at Bowery Ballroom that made it one of the best shows I've ever seen (and I've seen him at least ten times):

1. It was The Mountain Goats! My favorite band. The "best...lyricist in America." - Sasha Frere Jones, The New Yorker. (The ... stands for "non-hip-hop" but I'm leaving that out out of protest.)

2. Despite the sold-out crowd, you could hear a pin drop during the quiet songs. No cell phones rang.