Me: I wanna touch your boobies.
Anna: I cannot as I am a computer program and I do not have a corporeal dimension. Please submit a question which is specifically about IKEA.
Me: I wanna touch your boobies on an IKEA couch.
Anna: How is IKEA different from other furnishing stores? We offer a wide range, good design and function, and also low prices. That's our business idea.
Me: That wasn't what I asked.
Anna: If you would like to continue with our dialogue you could try repeating or re-phrasing your original question.
Me: Ok, I wish to fondle your soft chest parts on a cheap Swedish sofa.
Anna: Here you will find the Chests Of Drawers.
Me: I like torturing you, Anna.
Anna: That's nice. Please ask me a question about IKEA.
Me: So you're into that sort of thing? Kinky!
Anna: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me. Furthermore, your comments improve my knowledge base. Thank you!
Me: Do you like girls?
Anna: I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about that. If you don't mind, ask me a question about IKEA.
Me: Oooh, touchy subject! I guess you didn't go to a women's college.
Anna: I am happy that you have continued with your education.
Me: Actually, I dropped out. How far have you gone with a boy?
Anna: A very good question, but one that I'm afraid I'm unable to answer at this point in time.
Me: Come on Anna, you can tell me!
Anna: Thank you for being so polite.
Me: Do you like (blanking blank) (Ed: I said it to her, but I don't want that exact phrase here.)
Anna: I'm afraid I'm not willing to discuss this subject in any way.
Me: For someone with that haircut, you're pretty stuck up.
Anna: You can find all products on the STUK product line in the page I am now opening for you.
Me: No!
Anna: Sorry. As an IKEA Online Assistant I don't know the meaning of 'no'.
Me: I know a lot of guys who would like to meet you, then. Penis!
Anna: If I was a real person I'm sure I would have that body part, but I'm simply an IKEA Online Assistant, here to help you with your questions about our company.
Me: penis cock.
Anna: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
Me: pussy.
Anna: I know people love animals, but I'm here just to talk about IKEA.
Me: Are you my mommy?
Anna: Family is very important for IKEA! Drop the kids off at the IKEA supervised play area and ballroom, and shop in peace. This way, everyone's happy. Or if you want them to help make furnishing decisions, strollers are available at the entrance.
Me: Who gets help making furnishing decisions from someone in a stroller?
Anna: My knowledge is limited to IKEA related questions. Why not try to ask me about IKEA products?
Me: Why do you hate me, Anna?
Anna: I wish I could give you an explanation for that, but I can't.
(The End)
To talk to Anna (it's so fun), scroll to the bottom left corner.
Link from little fucking ray of sunshine, who does a much better Anna-chat about suicide.)
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