TO: lindsayATlindsayism.com FROM: xxxxxxxx SUBJECT: Behaviour Patterns
Dear Lindsay,
You seem like a sharp, intelligent young woman, who knows how to handle men. (MT even thinks of you when drunk, and I'm sure that's saying something). But how long do you think this will last?
Thanks for the compliments! I plan to be sharp, intelligent, a woman, and to know how to "handle men" (whatever that means) forever. (The young part, unfortunately, ended when I turned 25.) As for MT, he's just a friend, and his drunk messages are hilarious (sample: "Lindsay Robertson, I remember when you used to rock.(click)"
When women swear, talk about porn, go out getting drunk and stoned, then the behaviour of men changes accordingly.
(Oh my god, are you saying they might start thinking of me as an equal? But I'm supposed to be from Venus!)
(MT gets drunk to talk to you - is that what you want?)
(MT is always drunk - don't you read his site?)
We women are the ones that set the behaviour patterns of men; once we lose it, they follow dramatically and 1000 times worse. Finally we women suffer because men will then start to treat us like primitive cave creatures who get pulled around by their hair.
I consider myself equal to guys, so this just doesn't apply to me.
If you don't believe me, read Tom Wolfe's latest "I am Charlotte Simmons". This is really a parody of our times. And a warning.
Admit it: this is you, isn't it, Tom?
Anyway, give men a chance to sober up and be decent. Once that happens, you will not regret 20 years down the road that it was really your own behaviour that put you in the corner.
This is going to sound radical, but men have pretty much always been decent and respectful and nice to me. I know, I know, it has to be false, right? I'm a chick, so therefore surely I must feel like a victim, sitting around on a Saturday night waiting for the phone to ring, asking for advice on when to put out, buying dating manuals to learn how to pretend to have self-esteem, obsessing over every detail of a date, saying things like "Why do men say they're going to call but don't?", despising my exes, saying that there are no good men in New York, etc. That just has never been the case for a lot of us. Where is the chick lit for chicks like us?
I do enjoy your posts, it certainly beats those others (_____________, et. al.). I wonder though why the swearing, the drinking, the getting stoned and the porn? Suffice maybe that I’ve noticed it.
I'll cop to everything else, but I don't watch porn, I just make jokes about it. In fact, I make jokes about a lot of things. This website is certainly not meant to be a serious representation of everything I do or think about.
In good faith, as a warning I felt my duty to convey,
XXX
(Excerpt of conversation with best friend right before posting this:
lindsayism: Yeah, but I sort of want to use this to say something about women. (go ahead, groan)
XXXXXX: No, I knew when I read it that you were going to put your post-feminist face on.)
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