DATE MY FRIEND #1*: Sarah Ultragrrrl
If you read Spin magazine, you've probably seen my first Date My Friend subject before. Her name is Sarah Lewitinn, and she has a column called "Making Out With Ultragrrrl." She also does the 'blog Ultragrrrl.com.When I first saw pictures of Sarah with hot rockstars in Spin, I was so jealous I couldn't see straight, and when I knew I was going to meet her, I was kinda nervous because I thought she'd be all "too cool" and stuff. But I couldn't be more wrong. Sarah is one of the most genuine, sincere, and sweet people I've ever met. And she's absolutely hilarious. So I went from being jealous that she's so cool and hangs out with rockstars, to being jealous that she's so cool, hangs out with rockstars, and is infinitely adorable and funny, in a matter of minutes. Last night I was staring at her and it occurred to me that Sarah is the kind of girl that you want to trap in a room and never let out because she's so entertaining that she's all you'll ever need. Here is her Date My Friend interview:
1. Like, who is totally your ultimate celebrity crush?
Basically, I would like to be impregnated by Johnny Depp, Ewan McGregor, or Jude Law. And I wouldn't be against getting herpes from Kate Moss if the opportunity ever presented itself.
2. Pantene or Herbal Essences?
I really, really, really hate washing my hair.
3. Are you typically the dump-er or the dump-ee?
Hmm... I think that'd require me getting into a long term relationship right? or any relationship right? I think that technically, my last boyfriend was when i was 18 or 19, and I broke up with him. He hated me for a year or two. Actually, most of my relationships are long distance, so i let the atlantic break us up. I'm such a pussy.
4. (With apologies to A.J. Daulerio's brilliant Rock and a Hard Place interview series at The Black Table), if you had to never have sex again or eat nothing but cat food for the rest of your life, which would you choose and why?
I'd never have sex again. Apart from cat food not being kosher, I love food too much to give it up i think. Whoa. How sad?
5. Are you a date-person or a hangout-person? Why?
Dates are so awkward and I can't really justify running off to the bathroom to make out with boys if I'm on a date.
6. Quick! Name three dealbreakers (besides the obvious racism, etc.)
is racism that much of a deal breaker?
foreskin
body order (or bad cologne!)
snoring
7. How important is it to you to date someone of your religion?
It's not really important for me to date anyone in my religion, but I gotta marry a Jew. Otherwise I'll be tossed out of the family forever. Not to sound defeatist, but marriages dont last these days and if I end up divorcing my partner after a couple years i'll have no one to turn to other than my family. Plus, there's this huge fortune that i'm promised when i marry jew. But I think i've only dated 1 or 2 Jews in my life cause most jewish boys out there freak the fuck out of me.
8. What is the longest relationship you've ever had?
A few months -- but i've been in love for years.
9. Describe a personal theory you have about guys and girls or relationships.
Men are pussies. Women are idiots. We're better off alone until it's time to get married and have babies.
10. What is the creepiest thing that has happened to you as a result
of your Spin column?
Either I'm really fucking oblivious, or I'm really that fucking uninteresting to my readers, because nothing creepy has happened as a result. Unless you count the emo bands that come up to me and are like "are you that girl wearing the muse shirt in spin?" Yeah, that's pretty creepy. So far, that column has gotten me no blow jobs in the bathroom.
11. Do you have a type? What is it?
Hot. Like Johnny Depp.
12. Describe a really good conversation you've had recently.
I think the best conversation i had was with my friend Vicki. We were discussing her theory that Paris Hilton is the most democratic person in the history of high society since she's willing to fuck just about anyone. We also discussed Britney Spears at length. Also, my friend Bruce drunk dialed me from London and it was maybe the best conversation we'd ever had.
13. What are you looking for right now?
Someone who wont try to interfere with my shallow lifestyle.
LIKES: Being a self-made hundredaire.
HATES: The fact that there are no Puerto Ricans in London.
(Wanna date Sarah? Check out her website!)
*Not to be confused with that Friendster dating thing of the same name.
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