(I'm not sure who would be interested in this but I put it on YouTube to show some friends so may as well put it here, too.) While we were perusing the in-church giftshop at Trinity Church (where Shakespeare is buried) in Stratford-Upon-Avon earlier this month, a baby squirrel that seemed totally unafraid of people ran inside. So I stuck my flipcam in its face, naturally:Five minutes later, "Willie" the squirrel was seen happily eating a nut in the ancient graveyard outside. (But I do think the church lady called the RSPCA, in case anyone is worried.)
Judith Thurman's Amelia Earhart piece in this week's New Yorker is fascinating, as most of her work is (I loved her recent Laura Ingalls Wilder/Rose Wilder Lane piece), but I'm noticing a degree of absurdity creeping in to her deliciously catty, un-official "Takedowns Of Famous Heroines" series. In the Earhart piece, tied to the upcoming movie about her starring Hilary Swank, Thurman turns what seems to me to be an overly judgmental eye on the famously famous pilot. Here are a few of Earhart's "sins" in the article:
Thinking she had something to say even though she didn't even finish college:
"Read closely, however, Earhart’s life is, in part, the story of a charismatic dilettante who lectured college girls about ambition yet never bothered to earn a degree."
Doing whatever it is she supposedly did in this sentence about a '90s Apple ad (with the official Apple slogan, I might add.):
"The slogan that appeared with a gauzy, doe-eyed photograph of Earhart in a white helmet was “Think Different.” (She thought of herself not only as different but as a special case to whom most ground rules didn’t apply.)"
(Who does that remind me of? Oh, ANY MAN WHO EVER DID ANYTHING.)
Being as un-shy as a particular famous man who is regarded around the world as a beloved, brave, and original hero:
"She quotes the great aviator Elinor Smith, who was still flying in 2001, at eighty-nine: “Amelia was about as shy as Muhammad Ali.”
My trip to London was AWESOME. Anyway, one thing I noticed over there was that as big as the Jaycee Dugard story was here, it was ten MILLION times bigger over there (newspapers even complained that Ted Kennedy's death was "burying the story".) Tangentially related, this very funny BBC news blooper from that story:(Thanks for the tip, Gemma!)
There probably won't be anything here for a week because I'm going to London tonight. (It's my first time going anywhere that requires a passport, isn't that just precious?) When I come back I expect to be exactly like Karen from Pulling. Enjoy penis shark!
Oh, and this is hilarious.
(Um, I'm writing on NY Mag's Daily Intel today and I tried as hard as I could to make a case for putting this there, but there was just no way. But I had to share it, so here it is.)
Check it out, some people caught a shark in the Everglades and gradually realized it had a huge (other shark's?) penis in its mouth:
Just months after the carb-on-carb crime that is Domino's Pasta Bowls comes KFC's Double Down. Two fried chicken patties serve as the bun in a bacon and cheese sandwich:
I'm starting to think there are two rival fast food product R&D teams out there competing in a "But let's see if they'll eat this!" contest.
(Patton Oswalt, most famous critic of KFC's Famous Bowls, is currently celebrating his new comedy album's #4 placement on iTunes. I bought it and it's great!)
From back when households had only one TV. "It's just a jumble of bodies and I don't understand it!":(Via Everything Is Terrible.)
Remember Henry, the little boy who danced a little too well not to creep us out? Well, he's selling Vitamins in England. FOR REAL:
Thanks for the tip, Louis!! (Related: Henry's first day of internet fame.)
Vulture checks out Stephenie Meyer's celebrity playlist, and it's all Stereogum-approved and shit. I wonder if Apple employs a person whose entire job is to create "hip" playlists for celebrities. If so, it would be awesome if that person got disgruntled and created a totally uncool playlist for someone as an act of revenge. Except that no matter how hard this person tried to make it lame, it would still seem cool! It's a paradox! This person would burn the midnight oil, toiling night and day over this Ultimate Worst Playlist Ever, but even at this, s/he would fail. That person with that fictional job at Apple just cannot win.
From this extremely sycophantic Mad Men fan site that I read for some reason:
"So here’s the thing. When you spend the day on the set of Mad Men, you know that what you hear on the set of Mad Men, what you see on the set of Mad men, stays on the set of Mad Men."
They are really providing a valuable service over there!
I know this has already been everywhere, but I was in Florida last week, and I swear to god, everyone on the road was swerving around wildly the entire time, texting while driving. I'm not even exaggerating. It was nuts. It's still legal there. It was scary. So is this brilliant PSA. (If you've ever been in a car accident, get ready for a mild sting of PTSD maybe don't watch this. It's extremely realistic and I should have put a stronger warning here):(Sorry to get all serious sauce!)
Prediction: the next episode of Mad Men, "Love Among The Ruins," will be action-packed. That's the only conclusion we can come to from the aggressively boring sneak-peek scene AMC put out to publicize it:That's the only scene they could show! I'm so excited! Is it November 22nd yet?
I'm at the beach in the FL panhandle for the week, back for the first time in the summer in 8 years. After 8 years of enduring what pass for beaches up north, it's kind of hard to laugh at my home state right now.
(Bonus: friendly tropical colorful fish instead of hypodermic needles!) (Ok, back to being obnoxious *offline*, until the end of the week.)
I played with this a little to see how far it goes back, tragedy-wise. "Ps: the holocaust" works, but "Ps slavery" delivers ads. Google also thinks we've gotten over the triangle shirtwaist factory fire, the Hindenberg, and the sinking of the Titanic. (I could play this game all day, so I'll stop now. That link above is accidentally hilarious, though.)
The 7th (and possibly final) installment of Gabe And Max's Guide To Man Style is a comedian-cameo-studded masterpiece:
It's a new little girl being cute on YouTube! Unforced! (Update: the parents have made it private. Oh well!)Thanks to Andrew for the nice week-ending tip.
It's week two of HBO's summer of new documentaries every Monday night, and tonight's premiere is the much-anticipated Sundance hit Prom Night In Mississippi, about the segregated proms in the small town of Charleston, and the resistance Morgan Freeman came up against when he offered to pay for one prom for all students. From what I've heard from people who've seen it, it will not be a triumphant ode to the beauty of humanity, and will go to some unexpected places. It doesn't have a decent trailer anywhere, but here are some clips from YouTube:I'll be watching this tonight, and, to lighten what will clearly be a depressing 90 minutes, taking a drink every time someone says "Meexed prom."
(Thanks to Brenna for the tip!)
This went up on Everything Is Terrible today. It's a math rap. I wrote a math rap too!So probably like most kids in 1990, I was assigned to write a math rap in the seventh grade, but I hated rap (And country! Right, other former closed-minded seventh graders?) But my favorite thing in the world at the time was "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel, so I performed my rap while slapping my hands on a table on the stage of the sanctuary of the church that my school was part of. Here are the lyrics that I remember:
The trailer for An Education, starring Peter Sarsgaard and Carey Mulligan, and written by Nick Hornby, finally hit the internet last night. Carey Mulligan is the rare (or possibly non-existent in 2009) intelligent-seeming very young actress. I can't think of a single other one in popular culture right now. (And she doesn't even have an official IMDB picture yet!) Even if this movie contains no surprises, couldn't you just stare at her for DAYS?) October 9th, guys!:I can already tell this would have been my favorite movie ever if it came out when I was 15, and, sight unseen, that's enough. (And considering that Defamer fell all over itself over this movie at Sundance, predicting nothing less than "canonical immortality," it seems like it'll be worth the ticket price.)
It was only a matter of time before Hot Topic started selling Keyboard Cat tshirts, but since keyboard cat meme creator and Videogum tipster extraordinaire Brad O'Farrell gets part of the money, let's make this the next Frankie Says Relax. Years from now, it would be pretty hilarious if the summer of '09 could be visually referenced on film by a character wearing this shirt.
A 23 year old who sends me links to funny videos just sent me a link to a funny video: Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract" video. He said: "I didn't realize it was the same Paula from American Idol."
WE ARE ALL VERY OLD.
I don't know why this isn't out there yet, but I guess the internet has been distracted this week. Last weekend a local news reporter in DC tried to interview bloggers standing outside the Real World house in Dupont Circle, and a Real World cameraman came out and stuck his camera in her face to block her shot. One of the bloggers got it on video and the reporter linked it from the WUSA9 site. So quiet and creepy and intimidating and weird! How rude!:
So that's what a person on The Real World has in his or her face all day every day. That guy. Creeepy.
HAHAHAHA. CNN sent a reporter to the anthrocon (furry/plushie convention) in Pittsburgh. The resulting report uses defensive language, but never comes out and says what it is the convention's leaders are trying to stop being associated with:
Speaking of furries, where is that furry documentary that's been "in progress" for four years?
Today is the one-week anniversary of The Funny Looking Clouds (And Light) Over Manhattan At Sunset. I've reviewed the (many) videos on YouTube of this event, and found my favorite. It includes not only the clouds, but two fixtures of the Lower East Side: a manic pixie dream girl who opines about the meaning of the clouds ("I love that he's celebrating...crazy trilogy of death and God is talking to us") and an old man walking around without a shirt:
When my friends and I left a bar on Allen street to investigate why everyone on the street was taking pictures of the sky and saw the clouds, we reached for our own cameras before realizing, wait, nevermind, it'll be all over the internet in an hour. And it was. I love that! We can just go through life, enjoying it, without feeling the burden of having to document every moment of collective awe. We enjoyed the clouds, and watching the people watching the clouds, and then went inside and finished our beers with total faith that we didn't have to do anything -- everyone else was on this. It's like how we've all outsourced at least a little brain space to google and wikipedia. We don't own the knowledge but we know where to find it, and we don't own pictures of the Radiohead concert or the rainbow or whatever (or have to miss out on the full experience of each because we're filming them), but we will in an hour or two. What strange times we live in, with what strange clouds!
An elementary school teacher in Elk Grove, CA sent her students home this week with a DVD she made with footage from the school year, and apparently, several seconds of her own personal porn at the end. This local news report is classic! First they tell you they can't tell you anything, then they just keep everyone talking until little details start to leak out and we all use our imaginations to come up with scenarios that are probably far worse than what was on the DVD: First off, I don't even know how you accidentally put the wrong footage on a DVD. Second: the principal LAUGHING at :59, third: this reminds me of some kind of extremely subtle parody of local news. The internet needs to see this video!
My friends (wisely) held me back from saying anything at the time, but, um, you do know that the person who goes first in the very middle can always force a win, right? If you didn't already suspect something was up when you were, like, 8, it's right there on Wikipedia.
(I suggest Yahtzee! for future bar-screaming sessions, because, bonus: yelling is actually part of the game!)
Unrelated Things That Were Slightly Too Long To Twitter Today:
* While researching an epic screed about how much Pinot Grigio tastes like ass, or sweat, or a combination of both, I learned that Gary Vaynerchuk got in trouble last year for saying "Pinot Grigio sucks." Scooped! Pinot Grigio of the type served in bars is a great substitute for syrup of Ipecac, though. Someone should really look into whatever it is in cheap Pinot Grigio that triggers the human gag reflex, because this is a very real thing.
* Ariel Levy is indeed the best. Ever since my friend Emily made me read Female Chauvinist Pigs I've been having embarrassing daydreams about being her protege.
* If you're bored this weekend, rent Dead Snow (the Norweigan zombie Nazi movie) on Movies On Demand for $5.99. It's worth it, I promise. It's dubbed in English, but in a way that only makes it better/sillier/campier, and it's one of those weird movies that's both intentionally bad and funny and (it seems) unintentionally bad and funny.
* If everyone who gets a bra fitting finds out that she's been wearing bras exactly two cup sizes too small for her entire adult life, why don't we all just start buying bras two cup sizes bigger and skip the tupperware parties? (I think it's this kind of logic/lack of fun that got me politely asked to stop attending a regular SATC viewing party in 2002.)
(If you think this post sounds like the work of a bored person, wait 'til you see the next one.)