Dear Australia,
If something were to happen to Fred Phelps and his hate posse while they were picketing Heath Ledger's funeral in your country, we really wouldn't mind. Really.
Sincerely,
America
ps: Yes, the kids too.
RIP my left back molar, 1984-or-something - 2007, which was extracted torn out of my head in the most violent, athletic way possible by my dentist this morning. Valuable Lesson: when they say you need a root canal, don't be a scared little pussy and put it off "because it doesn't hurt right now!" Upon my request, the dentist gave me the tooth in an envelope, in 3 pieces, two of which aren't gross. I might make a necklace. I wanted to do a version of the old "Doctor, will I be able to play piano?" joke but with "give good bjs" in place of "play the piano". But I didn't, for obvious reasons (hi future employers!)
But seriously: no fun! And even though I don't think it will be detectable, I really don't appreciate the meth-y, trashy implications of being a person who is missing a tooth.
REMINDER: RITALIN READINGS IS TOMORROW NIGHT!! It's the comedy pick of the week in The Onion. It's going to be a great one.
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