This week (as part of what I just learned is an entire issue about hipsters), TONY presents a quiz: are you a hipster? OMG (but before OMG was said all the time)! It mentions Misshapes!! It's so deck! Here are some pitches for future quizzes:
* Are you a hippie or someone over 30 who doesn't smoke grass? * Are you a flapper or whatever flappers called people who weren't flappers? * Are you a slave owner, an abolitionist, a slave, a sharecropper, or other? * Arst thou a witch? * Do you have the plague or not? * Do you walk erect?
If someone from Time Out is reading this, call me! There are like, so many other periods in history whose quiz-time has passed besides 2003!
Also, if you dare read it (at least you won't bleed from the pinky, just the eyes), you'll learn that we can add Jaime to the list (is someone keeping a list? Someone should keep a list) of celebrities who claim to have originally been booked on one of the 9/11 flights.
BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT, mmmkay?
I actually like the What I've Learned feature, but have they run out of people who've learned things that aren't celebrations of their own accomplishments? I'm looking at you, Clive Davis. I'll remember your immortal words of wisdom the next time it's my turn to sign the Grateful Dead and Lou Reed to record deals, or Dionne Warwick calls me to complain about something. I mean, like, what?
I mean, shit, I've learned that I'm awesome too but that's clearly not the point of the assignment.
"Here's what Sarah taught me about getting along with my own parents: Try to pretend they're someone else's parents. If you do that, the little things that annoy you that don't annoy anyone else are much more tolerable."