March 25, 2008

I Remember When They Called My 'Hood "The Bel-Del"

And that didn't catch on any more than "SoBro" will. I wish someone would listen to me and call it "NoChiTo."

(Also, where's the part where someone named something? It's just a bunch of NY Mag restaurant listing links. I'm onto you, Buzzfeed.)

August 06, 2007

I'm Sorry Corey. No Jossip-Address-Publishing Harm Can Come To You Now

Since neither of us still live in the old building, I got over my fears and wrote about my former neighbor Corey F's new show for NY Mag's The Vulture:

"The Two Coreys: One Cyberstalker's View"

Sincerely: I think Corey (F) will find a better vehicle. This one just isn't the one. At least he comes off well in the show.


March 05, 2007

just. not. okay.

As a resident of Chinatown, I must say one thousand times thank you to Radar for this investigation into the spitting epidemic. I doubt it will have any effect, but at least they're making it okay to talk about openly. You can say what you want about gentrification, but people who don't curb their dogs get fined, and spitters should, too.

February 06, 2007

When Retards Attempt Satire: Neighborhood Barbies

Okay, so this is kind of fish-in-a-barrel, but the only thing funny about this "parody" of New York neighborhoods through their corresponding Barbie dolls is how hysterically wrong it is. You know those stupid forwards sent around by well-meaning-but-clueless Moms and spinsters with cats? I imagine this is that sort of thing for the chick-lit-reading, sample-sale-squealing, $400-shoe-buying sucker set:

I give you, the parodist's Barbie representation of the Lower East Side (of what, I'm not sure. Maybe somewhere in Arkansas?):

Lesareyoufuckingkiddingme

"Lower East Side Barbie"

"This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about."

Um, what? Was this EVER the Lower East Side?

The rest are here. (Park Slope and Red Hook are also unintentionally funny, but for all I know, Bensonhurst is dead-on.)

October 25, 2006

sad but predicted

"We've lost the Marshall Stack."  (at least on weekends)

September 08, 2006

The (un)Luckiest Diner on the Lower East Side

Eater has put a deathwatch on LoSide Diner.

"the biggest problem they face is the one-two punch of bad food and zero authenticity."

Nothing against Eater, at all, but I think everyone has misunderstood LoSide Diner. And that misunderstanding has allowed me and my friends many evenings of leisurely dining for hours for very very little money.

Now if you're a rich person, of course you don't like LoSide diner. Of course you think it's unauthentic. Because you can afford to eat anywhere and the concept of BYO means nothing to you. But for the rest of us, LoSide Diner was/is the only place on the LES (that I know of) where a group of friends can meet (right off the subway!), sit in a big booth, bring their own cheap wine (opened, chilled and poured by the friendliest restaurant staff in the entire city), listen to 69 Love Songs and enjoy a decent grilled cheese or veggie burger unbothered by crowds or hurried waitstaff. And two hours later the bill for four people, entrees and appetizers, is less than $40. LoSide diner isn't unauthentic. LoSide diner is the MOST authentic. And if you don't believe me, just check out the art on the walls.

UPDATE NOTE: The reason we could stay that long was because nobody else would be there, and we always tipped like 50%. I understand that the things I like about LoSide are the same things that doom it.

Oh, and they have the best (and most authentic) Southern-style potato salad in New York City. So there. Save LoSide Diner!!

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  • Hello! My name is Lindsay Robertson. I'm a writer in Brooklyn, New York and this is my website.

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