Lindsayism.com

Because Fame Is A Form Of Embarrassment, Probably

I was walking home the other day and a Liz Phair song that I always loved was going through my head, and I realized that I might not know where maturity comes from or starts, but some small bit of it begins to metastasize the moment this line:

"Weave my disgust into fame / And watch how fast they run into the flame"

stops being a suitable candidate for your email signature/facebook whatever and starts making you feel really sick to your stomach that you ever thought it was clever in an un-totally-ironic way. This is the only absolutely true maturity metric I can think of. When I moved to NY in 2000, that line was my email signature. Today it seems like either a brilliant parody of the bravado and skewed values of the American twentysomething, or something very sad about Liz Phair. Probably both.

I just went and looked at my old diaryland profile, not updated since '03, and these were the quotes that I thought defined me then. Kind of goes along with my point:

"If you really want to make it, then you must remember this: If it isn't penetration, then it isn't worth the kiss." -Pedro the Lion

"There's a light that never goes out, burning a hole inside of me." -Built to Spill

I'll still stand by that second one, whatever it means. Anyway, I just wanted to say that stuff about that Liz Phair line. The end.

Have You Watched "E.T." Lately?

If so, settle this argument:

We all know that E.T. ate Reeses Pieces in the movie, and that it was product placement. But did E.T. ever *say* "Reeses Pieces" in the film?

I'm somehow now involved in a long-standing argument over this (which is hilarious, since it could be so easily settled by watching the movie, but nobody wants to.) Myself and several friends have a distinct memory of E.T. saying "Rees-ees Piece-ees", but according to my friend Travis, it's not in the script and he insists that E.T. never actually says the words.

(There's one other theory - that E.T. said it in a commercial, but not in the actual movie.)

Best. Conversation. Ever.

I've been telling this story for the past five days, and it still makes me laugh:

Friend: I'm going to a notary after this.
Me: I've always wanted to be a notary.
Other Friend: My brother is a notary. Well, in Second Life.
(Everyone): !!!!!!

Her brother is a notary. In Second Life.

Then:

Friend: He had to settle this dispute once and one of the people involved, a woman, well, her avatar was female anyway, pooped on his head.
(Everyone): !!!!!
Me: Wait, so she had to BUY the poop? With real money???
Friend: Yeah. Well, technically, she could make it.
Me: Out of what? Food?
Friend: Pixels.

Just...everything.

Game: What is the Most Out of Fashion Thing That Still Cannot Be Worn Ironically?

If someone tries to play this game that I just made up with you, use this answer that I just thought of and you will win:

A French braid.

(Runner up answer: Obsession.)