Lindsayism.com

"some people who like each other and some who don't and some who cannot tell who they do and do not like."

I've found that if it takes more than three sentences to explain something that annoyed you on the internet today, and if you feel suddenly embarrassed when you start, it's probably too "inside" (which means "dumb.")

But then Choire Sicha writes something that gives a name to your shameful frustration. He is a genius who should be In Charge. Just In Charge:

"Boy howdy, is Jessica Roy gonna be pissed when she finds out about midtown and all the stuff that happens up there!"

And the rest of it, too. I recommend following the link in the piece and reading the original thing just for the blessed joy and relief that is Choire's reaction. It's important to note that he isn't even mean to the well-intentioned but humorously misguided young lady (we were all there, after all.) He isn't even mean. Almost nobody else but him even bothers to try that anymore. It's like an amazing trick now. That's sad.

I'm Big In Australia

Hardy says she had no idea what a blog was until she started Googling the name of a drummer she fancied (Fabrizio Moretti from the Strokes) during a dull moment at work. One of the websites that appeared was Lindsayism.com, a blog by a young New Yorker named Lindsay Robertson.

Aww, What ever happened to Fab?

Looking At Gawker, From the (Former) Inside Out

That's my sad pathetic I'm-still-on-the-internet-at-11pm attempt at a Styles headline, but seriously, aren't we like four and a half days overdue for a "former Gawker editors now blog sometimes about Gawker and each other, among other things" article? I mean here's your lede right here: they're talking about "getting the gang back together!" And now the talented and wise-beyond-her-years Maggie Shnayerson has entered the arena.

 

NMH, Yelp, Lizzie Saves Day

* Ten years of Aeroplane. Really really good.

* I haven't read a lot of this "Yelp" business, but I am a huge Amy Blair fan: her new column for Eater LA: The Week in Yelp.

* Just another reason I wouldn't want to live in a world without Lizzie Skurnick.

I know it's a dubious distinction...

This has to be the best thing that has ever been written on a Tumblr:

"Can anyone remember a more exciting election? How amazing is it that the Democratic party is choosing between the potential first African-American president and the first female president? Just having one of them as a viable nominee this late in the process would have been heartening; the fact that they’re both still at it might be cause for soul-searching and discomfort, but let’s be honest, it’s a nice problem to have."

Alex Balk endorses Obama, in his special way. Also, the end is great.

Two Agents Emailed That Day. For Real.

There are lots of things I'd change about this, but it seems as good a day as any to revisit it: Please Link Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Blogging

(This is what jogged my memory.)

Mean Girls!

Me: this isn't very original but I've been referring to heath L as "The Ledge" and I want it to catch on.
Doree: Lindsay, stop trying to make The Ledge happen. It's not going to happen!

Mark Graham Bids Viacom Farewell, Defamer Hello

Defamer.com has a new position: Managing Editor. And it's Mark Graham! Wooooo!! Defamer has always been the most consistently high-quality GM site, and between Marks Lisanti and Graham it's poised to be part of the general "quality writing trumps cheap lazy salaciousness" blog trend that will finally happen in 2008 hopefully please god. Congratulations, Mark! 

The Best Blogs of 2007 That You (Maybe) Aren't Reading

I would argue that some of these are more "relevant" than "best", but Rex's list is excellent again this year: The Best Blogs of 2007 That You (Maybe) Aren't Reading. I'll be adding several of those to my already-overloaded RSS! (Also, yay to Jezebel, Vulture, Fourfour, more)

(Have a safe and happy holiday break, everyone!)

Win a Galley of "The Kept Man" by Jami Attenberg

My friend Jami's first novel, The Kept Man, comes out December 27th, and her publisher is having a contest: you just print out a poster, post it somewhere, take a picture, and send it to Jami. Info here. I think everyone wins a galley while supplies last, and while I haven't read the book yet, I have heard from an EXTREMELY hard to please blogger friend who doesn't know Jami that it's "really good."

Molly Lambert is Hilarious

"Ethan Hawke looks like his soul."

RSS that site if you haven't already!

Say Cheese!

Rachel Sklar + Unfortunate Lower Third = Hilarity:

(Source: Rachel's Facebook photo)

Flower versus LC? No Contest. Meerkat Wins.

* A very cool Vulture post about how every movie trailer is using the theme from "Brazil" lately (with video). Awesome catch! Sort of on topic: I have a huge pet peeve with copycat "American Beauty" music (and in some cases, the original score) being used CONSTANTLY everywhere from commercials to TV shows to 48 Hours Mystery. It's been 9 years since that movie came out - don't we have another way of evoking the sinister element that lurks behind the tranquility of suburbia by now? It's just lazy. Even the Little Children score was similar (and I loved that movie.)

* Claire Zulkey is quoted in this AP story about hardcover books versus paperback. I hate lugging a hardcover around and wish every book came out in both versions (it seems from the article that they soon will, though.)

* I know I'm years late on this, but I am suddenly and completely addicted to Meerkat Manor. The anthropomorphism makes me giggle (the Meerkats are presented as "hoping", "dreaming", "remembering", "realizing", etc) but I still fall for it. Best celebreality show on TV! (And when you think about it, the Meerkats are as or more capable of complex reasoning and self-awareness as those girls on The Hills.)

* Twitter at the VMAs: I am thinking: the amount of time between 'nerd-buzz' and 'MTV sellout' is getting closer and closer to a literal 15 minutes. 

What's Next? "Ma'am" Instead of "Miss"?

Last night I ran into a nice girl I used to see at shows a few years ago and who had a music blog at the time. She said this, very earnestly/nicely/no subtext:

"Are you still doing the blogging thing? I had to quit when I started college."

AHHH! I felt so old. My friends really enjoyed it, though, of course.

You Know What's Funny?

People who think that bots republishing random content from their blogs are "plagiarizing" their brilliant blog posts.

And They Say Bloggers Are Cynical

* Zulkey has an excellent and really informative interview with Anil Dash. It rocks. His part of the tag is "bloggers/blogging". "celebrity douchebags" is next...

* I've seen about 20 blog posts about Britney Spears' posting that her umbrella incident was all about her preparing for a role, but I haven't seen a single one that acknowledges that she is clearly being sarcastic. I mean, it's not like she's mastered the art of parody but it still seems obvious. I can't believe I just posted about BS.

* Jezebel is my kind of site and required daily reading. I can't believe I once thought it was going to be for the scary sadshaw demo. Totally the opposite. Nice!

Ryan Reynolds Enters Blogosphere

Ryan Reynolds blogs not-too-shabbily-for-an-actor (or blogger) about first world excess for the Huffington Post and all 83 comments are about his movies and how hot he is. That is funny to me.

Various and Sundry

* Just so there's no confusion, I'm not guest-blogging on a Law blog. This is one of those Postal Service v US Postal Service situations where confusion is not possible. (I would like to see some Highdeas over there though. Also, I hope I'm The Postal Service in that analogy.)

* Jonathan Coulton in the New York Times wooooo!!

* The lineup for the May 24th Ritalin Reading (next Thursday!) is set. It's very comedian-heavy this month, which was accidental, but awesome:

Alex Blagg (VH1 Best Week Ever)
Jon Friedman (The Rejection Show)
Greg Johnson (Comedian)
Adam Lowitt (The Daily Show)
Kristen Schaal (Comedian)
Mandy Stadtmiller (Comedian)

* This Wednesday, May 16, at 8: I'm a panelist on What's My Line? Live at Parkside Lounge. I'm told the surprise celebrity guest will be awesome (but that's true every month.)

"You've got to be kidding me. Is there some reason I have to be civil to this douchebag?"

Chris Mohney put up a series of emails he had with the Mis*hapes last summer, and they are day-makingly delicious.

So, Uh, Who Wants to Tell Him? Anyone?

"He laughs at the absurdity of a brand like Mountain Dew approaching Black Label with an offer of sponsorship, as he says happened last year, and is wary of exploitation of the fixed-gear bike culture by corporations that have little to do with biking. “I saw what happened to skateboarding and surfing and punk,” Mr. Coast said grimly."

And nothing like that could ever happen to our pure underground movement of non-conformists who are enjoying the thrill of being part of the beginning of something new and cool and amazing!

"after an hour, shit got lame": the best link ever

There are certain moments, as a blogger, when one stumbles upon, quite accidentally, a spot on the internet, a link, a thing, that is so magnificent, so unintentionally genius, so of the zeitgeist, so transcendent of anything one would ever come across intentionally in one's meticulously Google-Reader-tagged world, that one is faced with the dilemma of wanting to keep it, to jealously hoard it to oneself, to write an entire novel in the voice of the Tom-Perotta's-Election-esque character who so un-self-awarely shared it with the world before anyone else gets that idea too and actually does it, to read aloud from it on stage at one's next Ritalin Reading, if one co-hosts such a reading series, to print it out and memorize every word, to marvel at its utter perfection as a piece of satire, in this very time and place, this April 2007 of our lives, and to wonder: will I ever create something as good as this, including gardens, friendships, and/or children?

It's a Girl!

Grambo has a nice writeup of Ritalin Readings, with photos  (check out Emily's rack!)
He'll be happy to learn that, starting next month, the time limit WILL be enforced. With SuperSoakers! (Really.)

Also, I'm going to do a thing where I point out people in the audience who need drinks.

"In Defense of Ultragrrrl"

The Voice's Tricia Romano does the best job of trying to explain the Ultragrrrl phenomenon I've seen so far: In Defense of Ultragrrrl

I don't think Sarah is definable or explainable, and that's what makes people who don't know her uncomfortable with her. They don't know what to do with her or how to label her or how to become like her, because it's impossible: Sarah was born Sarah. And that drives some people nuts.

(This is long so I'm putting it after the jump.)

Fan Girl

I met Rich Four Four last night! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He is simply the best. I gushed.

Off-off topic, Grambo still loves everything.

The Roast of AJ Daulerio: Best. Thing. Ever.

The coolest thing ever happened last Friday. Because our friend AJ Daulerio is moving to Philadelphia, Will Leitch and Aileen Gallagher organized a surprise roast for him. For over a month, we had to keep it secret, but it was all worth it when it went off without a hitch (AJ was surprised, tons of his friends came out, we were funny, and he loved it). Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley was there to capture AJ's speech at the end of the roast:

One of the best nights of my life! (Note: if only ONE other roast takes place in the next six months, this will officially qualify as a Sunday Styles trend piece.)

Some photos after the jump. (UPDATE: NINE MINUTE long video on Deadspin. Unfortunately, technical difficulties prevented Eric Gillin's roast from being included, which sucks since he was hysterical.)

the emperor has a disappointing sophomore release

Saturday Night (Sunday Morning) Live:

Me, 12:29 AM, To Mark and Kerry: What arcade f did kinda ruins them for me. I'm shaking my head. I'm disgusted, honestly.

Mark, 12:30 AM, To Me: I am out, now I can't wait 2 see it!

Me, 12:33 AM, To Mark and Kerry: Sorry, snl, no big deal, I'm probs the only one to care.

Mark, 2:32 AM, To Me (I was asleep): The guitar smash on SNL turned Arcade Fire into legit superstars. Best band of their generation? Right now, yes. Amazing.

Me, 9:26 AM Sunday, To Mark: Cheap stunt. They're better than that and more orig. Lots of kids would have liked that guitar.

Mark says he'll be arguing his case later, but we're gonna have to agree to disagree: breaking that guitar made me lose respect for that band. When Nirvana did it, they were huge, and it was a commentary on consumerism, etc. When Arcade Fire did it the other night, it was a cheap, unoriginal cry for attention. My brother is a guitar teacher, and he won't even leave any of his guitars in his trunk when he goes to dinner, he brings them with him in case the car is broken into. I dunno -- that kind of respect seems more authentic to me. I think Arcade Fire should donate the cost of that guitar to a talented kid who can't afford an instrument, and next time they're desperate for press they should just tear up a picture of the f**king Pope.

In case you missed the stupidity:

UPDATE: 20 emails later...geez, let's agree to disagree, deal? I didn't say they suck, I said I lost respect. And yes, I saw the guitar strings break, and I think destroying it out of frustration would be even lamer (if it were possibly the case, which it's not. Let's not be naive.)

I changed the "celebrity douchebags" tag to "gleeful provocation." Let's just relax.

three people will get this

But "three people will get this" jokes are the best jokes.

"If you were going to hate these guys, here’s how you would do it: You could hate them for using the word BLOGGER so frequently and so shamelessly. Or you could hate LOCKHART for coming from money—mountains of it!—and being a KRUCOFF-taunting, NICK DENTON–fetishizing petty criminal. If you are an aging punk, you could hate BALK in particular for going over old ground and thinking it’s something new. (OXFELD puked on his audiences a long time ago.) Or you could hate all three of them for being so enamored with penises and what comes out of them. How much talent does it really take to come on the THE FLOOR OF THE MAGICIAN, anyway?"

Hint: Graph Six

Also, memory lane: Please Link Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Blogging

all my friends are bloggers like omg!

Well, this came out. Bloggers drink! On the LES! Sometimes together! Lindsay says silly things! AJ likes boobies!

While I'm bemused by the article (and I like Chris Shott, still), I would like to say a few words in my defense:

* Apparently, making it clear that you don't want your name used at all in an article is the easiest way to sound like a ditzy asshole in the lede. Publicists of chick lit authors: take note!

* I would never, ever, EVER say "blogger party" without simultaneously rolling my eyes and doing a funny voice to indicate beyond any doubt that I was being ironic. I have no proof that I didn't do that that night, but it wouldn't have come across in print anyway.

* I believe the real quote, to Choire Sicha, overheard by the writer whom I'd not yet met, was "Have I seen you recently? I think I had a dream about you because it seems like I've seen you recently." or something equally banal.

* The line "all my friends are bloggers" comes from my about page:

"I moved to New York, and started blogging, in 2000. (That's why all my friends are bloggers. It's like, totally okay.)"

I was, like, apologizing and being self aware and shit! See?

I'm totally willing to take one for the team, though, because seeing AJ Daulerio called a skirt-chaser in (pretty pink) print is worth it. I think I'll invite him to the next blogger party... in my pants!

Sundance is Sooooooo Coool

I'm not a jealous person, especially of my friends, and I know travelling for work isn't "fun" per se, but do all of them have to get to go to Sundance for free and blog about it? I mean, geez, in alphabetical order:

Jessica Coen's Sundance Blog at Vanity Fair (Actually it's the Oscar blog w/ Sundance Posts below, but she's writing both.)

Whitney Pastorek's Sundance Blog at Entertainment Weekly (video!) [and here (text!)]

Which reminds me of an old song: New York is So Cool: Download X-1_NYissocool.mp3 

Nobody Puts Whitney in a Corner

I love this comment on Whitney Pastorek's "rant against SNL" (FULL DISCLOSURE NAME DROP (the dumbest kind of name-drop): We're so like this (two fingers entertwined)):

"Why does an EW Reporter named "Debbie Cuntsler" automatically mean "Whitney Pastorek"...I mean, it just sounds like a TOTALLY made-up name."

Actually, commenter, here's some little-known Whitney trivia for you: she was actually born "Deborah Whitney Pastorek Cuntsler", but changed it when she moved to the big city, full of dreams. So, like, you'd be mad too.

The Weekend Dodgeball Fell (Nearly) Silent

The Blogger's Prayer

Dear Higher Power,

If I die (or become comatose) in a way that makes the news (even, er, "news"), can the headline please please please please please please please not identify me as "Blogger"?

(But seriously, best wishes for a speedy recovery to dear John Carney, you gave us quite a scare. (And may I be the 1000th person to make a "sneaking Jameson's into the hospital" joke.) I can't wait to sign your cast as my secret Gawker commenter identity!)

A funnier joke here.

(I Sent Her the Link. It Was the Right One.)

(Pasted with permission. If you've read this site for a while you might find this amusing.)

To: Me

From: [XXXX]

Sent: Just now

Subject: Oh Dear Lord Help Me Find This Link...

"This is totally a shot in the dark, as I'm not sure it was your blog where I read about this:

Quite a while ago you wrote about a blog written by a self-important female, who wrote about her expensive travels and rich boyfriends. She apparently was from old money or something and had reddish hair. You mocked her self importance, which was hilarious. 

I can't remember anything else about the blog in question, except that her boyfriend at the time you wrote about her blog made his money by playing poker (LR: I don't remember this, but then, I only ever skimmed).

She also had a photo collection of the evolution of her hair styles, which made her appear insanely self-absorbed. It's driving me crazy that I can't find this blog! I was telling my friend about it and wanted to show him, but I can't find it! If you know what I'm talking about, please email me the url when you get a chance. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then this will probably sound like the ramblings of a lunatic and I'm sorry!"

(Something tells me XXXX will have a lot of fun catching up.)

Help a Blogger Out

Emily Gould's site, Emily Magazine, keeps getting hacked. Can someone out there help her fix/protect it? She uses moveable type and still has all her files. If you can help, email her at emilyATgawker.com. Thanks!

Emily Cares About Britney's Well Being

If you can sit through Slurry McBragalways (the glasses don't work/they just make you worse), the contrasting reward is the beautiful Emily, of Emily Magazine and this other blog. Check out her hot, totally out-of-character-seeming in the coolest way tattoo:

Emily Gould on Reuters TV.

Oh Yeah, Almost Forgot

Time spent putting Gawker pinup Gabe Delahaye's phone number on ebay a couple weeks ago: 1 hour (Shut up, I had to start a new account)

Amount Gabe's roommate jumped in and bid to win the auction at the last minute while neither Gabe nor I was online to stop someone who actually took the joke seriously from winning: $107.00

Amount I now owe ebay: Like 8 bucks, I think

Being that chick who sold that guy's number on ebay that one time instead of that chick who hated Jared Leto first or made fun of that chick lit blogger or used to have highdeas on her site: Kind of still annoying, but oh well.

(Update: As is the case 100% of the time, if I'd known anyone was going to see this I would have made it funnier.)

Do Not Ever Joke on Dodgeball

(Note: if you don't use dodgeball, you're not going to have any idea what this post is about and it's going to be REALLY annoying, so really, I'd just skip it if I were you. Seriously. Don't blame me when you get annoyed by it.)

So, last night I had plans with a good friend but had to cancel because I worked late, was exhausted from the night before, and needed a "Lindsay Night." So I read the New Yorker and watched the second half of It's a Wonderful Life and delighted in its metaphysical flaws (he can hear again, yet he's still drunk, etc) and eschewed even the "Surgeon General" (the one glass of red I drink even on off nights.) I was like a nun or an evangelical or something. Then, this happened:

I got this dodgeball message:

Hey there, your friend Krucoff just shouted out: "From the texting gods, Bucky T just asked: "Wanna chill with sluts tonite?" I cant but he says go to Rewind on Essex." (10:52PM)

So, thinking myself quite the clever jokester, I sent a dodgeball myself:

Lindsay R is @ Rewind (10:53 PM)

Then, immediately, I got two texts:

Regular Text from Friend Who I Cancelled On: "Feeling better?"

Dodgeball: Hey there, your friend John C. just shouted out: "Best ever combo of
dodgeball messages ever. Krucoffs sluts plus Lindsay R." (10:56PM)

So with just one little attempted joke, I managed to make my friend think I ditched her, and, through John C., alert everyone I've blocked on dodgeball to the fact that I'd blocked them. (By the way, people I've blocked/"managed" - I only do it to people who dodgeball too often, and I switch back and forth depending on whether I want to go out in a week. I still like you.)

So I ended up having to dodgeball "That last dball was a joke that nobody got. I am at home. No sluts."

This post is SO inside dodgeball. But you two people out there who get it, learn from me, okay? Dodgeball is NOT the place for jokes. Even funny ones. Like mine.

Note the "Serious" Part

Oh yes. I did.

UPDATE: That link up there is Gabe Delahaye's phone number. Bid on it! I know you're reading this, Mary Mouse.

the blogger action network is on the scene!

alex blagg on the train last night - w4m

---

Reply to: pers-235149498@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-11-15, 9:57AM EST

Hi.
You are cute. I was the girl in the orange dress.
The End.

• this is in or around 50th and 8th
• no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Says Blagg:

lindsay: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mis/235149498.html
lindsay: I'm sure you wrote, I mean, saw :)
blagg: clearly this has reached the blogger action network
blagg: i've received this IM about 12 times now
lindsay: me too! Carney was first, though.

And then it got...more boring and nerdy. There's really no point to this post. I do sort of like the idea of an orange dress though, now.

3 to 6 men will humble him for several hours each week

* Is anyone else finding something to chuckle at in every sentence of this article about Ted Haggard's spiritual restoration, or am I just 13?

* I don't know why my dear Claire is giving this fucktard more attention, but at least he comes off badly. Like, really really badly.

* Tomorrow I'm participating in Sarah Brown's Cringe TV pilot taping. So tonight my friend Stephanie is going to accompany me to SuperCuts to try to make my hair decent looking, and not just a pixie haircut grown out for a year. Really. Two nights ago, I took my hair down to ask my friend Amanda what to do with it and she said "You look like Charlize Theron. In 'Monster.'

* Reno 911!: Miami movie trailer, via dead-frog:

* And, finally, who is such a blog geek that they want to see a photo of Gabe from corporate-casual sending me a text message from that Spy party? Here: I can find out how many people click, you know. (Also, cute, no? 20 bucks for his number.)

Gawker Continues Trend of Always Hiring People I Like

In Blog-nerd news: My friend Emily Gould (of Emily Magazine) is the new Co-editor of Gawker! So much awesome. Joining her as Associate Editor is Doree Shafrir, whom I've only met twice but already like very much. They're making some really inspired choices over there lately. Go Emily and Doree!

"Sometimes there's so much beauty...in the world...I feel like I can't take it...like my heart's going to cave in..."

Today is my favorite day because two equally awesome things happen today. In alphabetical order:

1. Mark Graham aka Whatevs aka Uncle Grambo and Kerry McGovern aka sosaysi aka The Senator MOVE TO NEW YORK! It's been the #1 thing I've been looking forward to in my life for the past two months. And now it's here. The presence of these two in my city will increase my personal happiness by a good 40%.

2. My beloved Stephanie Tillman aka Stiff aka Drinking Stiff finally returns from the "one month" trip to Europe she embarked upon last May 1st. I can now stop crying every time I walk by San Loco on Stanton, the last place I saw her face.

Yay.

there is, however, no excuse for celine dion

There's an interesting little "debate" on Emily's site about The Mountain Goats. While I of course disagree, I like the way Emily framed it - in the respectful way I expect of one of the most curious and open people I've ever met. We all have bands that all our friends love but that we don't - there are several people who can bear witness to the fact that I hated Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea for the first 20 listens (I even, to my shame, perfected an impression). And now it's my favorite record of all time.

And as long as it's confession time, Bob Dylan? Fully and completely aware of his brilliance and importance but just not able to listen. And don't even get me started on mainstream hip hop - that debate always ends with me in tears (and all I ever argue is that one's taste in music cannot be PC or not PC!)  Shouldn't music, like food or (legal) sex, be completely unpolitical? You don't criticize a person for disliking avocados, even though avocados rule. You just feel a little sorry for them that they've missed out on the pleasure avocados have added to your own life.

(But all that said, that "titanica" commenter kind of has a point.)

Not as pretty; but a lot more easy

Hi,

Welcome to Lindsayism 4.0, and to this rambling and mostly unecessary explanation of same.

1.0 First, there was my Diaryland site, which opened with a whimper in November of 2000 with a rant called "Slim Shitty: An Open Letter to the Music Critics of the World." It contained the sentence "Eminem makes Vanilla Ice look like Leonard Cohen," and trust me, the five human beings who read it (all, disappointingly, not music critics) didn't speak to me for a couple days (and rightfully so -- I've come around since Stan. A little.)

For the next three years, I updated sporadically with little confessionals about such things as my teenage obsession with the movie Gone with the Wind, Bambi-legged early attempts at pop culture parody, 'subtle' hidden messages to certain boys, and a pretty decent reaction to September 11th.

In short, That shit is password protected for a reason. (Though I have printed every entry and given them a rightful place nestled next to my high school letters to Carrie Fisher, William Shakespeare, and Annie Dillard. Swear. To. God.)

2.0 In May of 2003, after giving up on my then-boyfriend's fantastical promises of a real website, I got a friend to burn me a copy of Dreamweaver, spent a weekend studiously taking the tutorials, and painstakingly put together this baby.

It soon became popular with people who were linked on it and googled themselves obsessively, my friends who wanted to make sure I was keeping their Union Pool bathroom secrets, and those who mistook it for the first blog designed and written entirely by a retard.

I say all these mean things about it because I fucking love it so much. I mean, look at it. Gaze upon its disorganization, its clutter, its breaking-of-every-single-rule-of-design-ever-made, and not in a "you have to know the rules..." way. I wish I could say I was just trying to get into the next edition of Web Pages That Suck, but that thing was exactly the earnest "magazine of my brain" that I'd dreamed of since the 'zine era, and I adored it, and it changed my life (though I did know the design sucked.) Luckily, it was short-lived.

3.0 In March of 2004, my friend Ben Chappel announced he was giving me a birthday present: a complete redesign. And he did. (I've saved it, of course) Ben spent hours, no, days, on it, and it was so beautiful and good and the best present I've ever received.
Most people reading this know that we lost Ben in March of this year, a subject I've never found appropriate to write about here, on this silly site about comedy and funny links and stupid unimportant immaterial unlasting things. But I can't exactly do a redesign without mentioning his contribution, since that's still his illustration up there, altered a bit to fit this template, but still in Ben's charming, friendly, affable style. When Ben first unveiled the design, I was shocked at how perfect for me it was. (Though my representation was even skinnier and with bigger boobs than she is now (believe me, I had to fight hard just for the stick figure I ended up with.) But that was Ben's style (more of which can be seen, heartbreakingly and brilliantly, here (click the yellow star))

Which brings us to this site. My old site was set up to update with Blogger, which is unreliable, hasn't kept up with technology (categories? hello?) and which made me actually cry with frustration a few months ago when I couldn't post for almost two weeks (I even tried calling Google HQ. As you might have guessed: you don't get a real person.)

I've tried to use as much of Ben's design within the Typepad interface as possible. I'm still a bad designer, so if you have anything constructive to say, please email me.

This new version has

- Categories (I've gone 3 months back, eventually I'll get to all the archives)

- Comments (because I like blogs with comments best. This time they're moderated according to the note on the left)

- Actual Event Listings (many more to come now that they're easy to add)

- My ability to add to the permanent links is restored (right now they're the blogs I've read and the people I've known the longest, more will be added soon)

- An about page with stuff on it because my friends keep telling me to step up and be more professional and shit. (TK)

- A lot of cool other stuff Typepad offers that I'll be adding soon.

Tomorrow: more funny links and stupid immaterial unlasting things. Updated daily and spell-checked for your pleasure.

senseless acts of beauty

(photo of rough drafts of charades lists by Jen.)
Quick Vermont Highlights:

1. You know how they say you should find the thing you love the most and that you're best at and then figure out a way to get paid for it? Well, unfortunately for me, it appears that my thing is "Charades."
7 people. 4 hours. Most. Fun. I've. Ever. Had. In. My. Entire. Life. Solemn vows have been made about making it a "regular thing", which would improve my life 100%.

2. You know what's fun? Going to the Applebees off exit 26 of I-91 with your friends on a Saturday night and sending a round of drinks over to a (slightly bewildered) random table.

3. You know what's supremely dorky but also worth a year of therapy? Going off by yourself at 3 am on a mountain and looking up at the stars while listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea in its entirety. I was having such a great time I threw on some On Avery Island (Song Against Sex, natch) and Mountain Goats at the end. It was enough to make me almost want to ditch the city for the land of Cars 'n' Stars.

Okay, now some value-adding links. You've suffered enough:

* I thought the headline was funny, but then two separate people urged me to read the entire thing, and they were right: When This Meth Thing Blows Over, You'll Come Crawling Back, by Cocaine

* Kids steal fake pot from billboard promoting Showtime's "Weeds":

(via Golden Fiddle)

* THE comprehensive analysis of the famous self-regard of aforementioned blogger Jaqueline Mackie Paisley Passey. (Includes a photo of her most recent bullet-dodging boyfriend!)

i lovermont

(Photos of last year's trip, by Youngna.)

This weekend I'm making my yearly late-summer trip to Jen's awesome mountain house in Vermont. It will be only the second time I've left the city in 2006 (and now that I think about it, only the 4th time I've left the city overnight for non-business purposes since January, 2004. My GOD, no wonder I'm stressed.)

Anyway, I'm aware that this isn't interesting. This nature girl is just really f**king excited about getting back to nature.

(Oh, and sort of ironically off-topic, don't forget to set your DVRs for The Shatner Roast Sunday Night. It's hilarious.)

"structural and cheek issues"

Wow. Has anyone ever begged for a takedown like this woman? I mean, there isn't even anything you can say! (Except a silent cheer for "Terrence")

(But this site does a good job)

UPDATE, from her 50,000 word "About Me" page:

"Various ex-boyfriends: I had three not very serious relationships in the three year period between Brien and Terrence. You might find mentions of them in the archives as the Mensa guy, the lawyer, and "Mr. Indecisive"."

You. Cannot. Make. This. Shit. Up.

Jacqueline Passey Paisley Mackie Whatever, welcome to the 'Sitting There, Just Waiting to Suck' section of my RSS feed.

Charly's a card when he's potted

Cartoon idea:

Panel one: Man and Woman are fighting. Woman is crying.
Panel two: Man says angrily "I'll give you something to cry about!"
Panel three: Man leaves room
Panel four: Man returns to room holding a copy of Flowers for Algernon.

And...scene!

It was better last night as I was drifting off to sleep staring at my bookshelf.

WHATEVER YOU DO, do not forget to watch Nightline tonight (ABC, 11:35 pm Est, just watch the Colbert rebroadcast at 1:30a.) Because Sarah Brown's Cringe Reading Series will be featured.

Also, a thing to cover your mouth so that embarrassed-looking snakes cannot enter it has been invented.

Additionally, somebody sent me this review of a recent book today (second post, no permalinks) Better together? Meow!

nobody gets their weather forecast from dooce

If you started reading this week's New Yorker piece about the tired "debate" between bloggers and mainstream media and then stopped because it was a big fat "Duh", you'll be happy to read this, by Steven Berlin Johnson:

Five Things All Sane People Agree On About Blogs And Mainstream Journalism (So Can We Stop Talking About Them Now?)

(via Fimoculous)

My personal take on/philosophy of/use for blogging has always just been:

"Your Daddy doesn't have to know someone for you to be a writer anymore."

And I think we can all agree that's a good thing.

occasional pot smoker still has job; friends call it "miracle"

* Hot Topic is selling buttons that say "Pink Is the New Stupid." Seriously. (via thighswideshut)

* Surprise, not The Onion: "Miracle Child" of Public Drinker Gets Full Scholarship to MIT

* There is something extremely relaxing about watching this elephant-sanctuary live streaming video.

* Emily: "I can't believe they think I'm a yuppie!"

full disclosure blah blah blah

...And I have a new screensaver. (Thanks to co-worker Nicole.)

* Variety reports that my former nice neighbor Corey Feldman will star in "Coreys", a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style show with Corey Haim. How much does that rule? HOW MUCH?

* Via Golden Fiddle-on-Jane, who needs to send me some of the meth-like-substance that is allowing him to blog like it's his job that he just got and doesn't hate yet: long awkward pose. I will be doing this to my friends on the ambassador ho-phone forthwith, so beware!

* Via Darci Kittenpants, who is awesomeing-up the Comedy Central blog on a daily basis: the Corner'ingation of Baby. (This is a drop-everything link as is the long awkard pose one.)

* Rolling Stone has entered the blog game with Rock Daily and my friend Lizzy (Spin-when-it-was- good, NME) is one of the writers, yay.

* A few weeks ago I made a comment on Radosh quoting someone who compared the new Adam Sandler movie, Click, to Nicholson Baker's The Fermata.
Today I learned that CNN mentioned that idea and linked to the comment. I was shocked that they actually gave attribution of an idea to a blog comment, but saddened by the fact that I hadn't attributed it myself. The person who originally made the Fermata joke, in email, was Jeff, of the blog Heart On a Stick. He really didn't want me to post this, but justice must be broughten!
Also, CNN is linking to blog comments now. (Also, if you can decipher the above paragraph, I salute you.)

* Last night I fell in love with a painting at Niagara. I scribbled the artist's name down on a magazine page and googled him today - I can't find the painting online but it's called "Flashlight" and it's by Ted Riederer. My friend Jen obliged me by snapping a picture of it last night. I liked this painting so much that for a few brief, Yellow Tail-soaked minutes I thought I might have 400 bucks just lying around waiting to be spent, but then I came to my senses. "If I were married, it would only be 200!" I joked, realizing I'd just found the most compelling reason for me to get married that had ever occured to me before. What I'm trying to say is it's a really fucking awesome painting. The picture doesn't do it justice. Go see it. And buy it. And let me come over and look at it.
Here's a profile Current TV did of Ted Reiderer in January.