I know, I'm the only person who still watches The Bachelor besides the friends I force to watch The Bachelor, but (spoiler alert!) on last night's finale, Bachelor Brad chose neither chick!! Presumably, it will all be explained tonight on ABC's "After the Final Rose" special, but if you're bored, the message board conspiracy theories are amusing (and range from "his pregnant ex came back into his life" to "he ran off with Sandra Bullock.")
There should be a Bachelor house band called "The Right Reasons."
My commercial-break review of Spade sitcom 'The Rules of Engagement': "I'm trying to figure out the oldest season of 'Friends' that was still funnier than this and I'm all the way back to '95."
But How I Met Your Mother is still great (and on tonight!)
Last week while watching The Pickup Artist with Stephanie, we had this conversation during the commercial break:
Stephanie: Would you make out with Mystery?
Me: No way!! Oh my god you would! YOU LOVE HIM!
Stephanie: No, but I can see there being a slight possibility that I could make out with him.
Me: Well, I guess if I was 23...
Stephanie: Exactly. And in a different city from where we live.
Me: Yeah, like some sort of conference...
Stephanie: With free drinks.
Me: You LOVE him.
Stephanie: Shut up.
Well, Stephanie isn't the only woman who would invite a kiss-close with the Man in the Stupid Hat - Gawker's Stalkerette does too: True Confessions: I Love Mystery:
"Also, meeting the family won't be a problem because they probably already know each other from the time when his grandparents stole my grandparents' art and then enslaved them in concentration camps. Plus, he's a Libra and I'm a Taurus. Zing."
Hilarious - it's the exact opposite of a backlash...and seems like the exact marketing plan Mystery would devise in accordance with his teachings. Hmmmm. Maybe he's just been getting us to let our guards down this whole time!
Related: Max Silvestri and Joe Mande try out to be Mystery's new wingmen.
So here's part of my IM conversation with Stephanie:
lindsay: fame is a conveyor belt that is impossible to get off.
steph: thank you, sage.
I think the best analysis of this situation can be found on Defamer.
Since neither of us still live in the old building, I got over my fears and wrote about my former neighbor Corey F's new show for NY Mag's The Vulture:
"The Two Coreys: One Cyberstalker's View"
Sincerely: I think Corey (F) will find a better vehicle. This one just isn't the one. At least he comes off well in the show.
I saw the second one and it's really annoying. False alarm!
Nobody tell Steven Spielberg that Multiple Personality Disorder does not exist. (via Fiddle)
Saturday Night (Sunday Morning) Live:
Me, 12:29 AM, To Mark and Kerry: What arcade f did kinda ruins them for me. I'm shaking my head. I'm disgusted, honestly.
Mark, 12:30 AM, To Me: I am out, now I can't wait 2 see it!
Me, 12:33 AM, To Mark and Kerry: Sorry, snl, no big deal, I'm probs the only one to care.
Mark, 2:32 AM, To Me (I was asleep): The guitar smash on SNL turned Arcade Fire into legit superstars. Best band of their generation? Right now, yes. Amazing.
Me, 9:26 AM Sunday, To Mark: Cheap stunt. They're better than that and more orig. Lots of kids would have liked that guitar.
Mark says he'll be arguing his case later, but we're gonna have to agree to disagree: breaking that guitar made me lose respect for that band. When Nirvana did it, they were huge, and it was a commentary on consumerism, etc. When Arcade Fire did it the other night, it was a cheap, unoriginal cry for attention. My brother is a guitar teacher, and he won't even leave any of his guitars in his trunk when he goes to dinner, he brings them with him in case the car is broken into. I dunno -- that kind of respect seems more authentic to me. I think Arcade Fire should donate the cost of that guitar to a talented kid who can't afford an instrument, and next time they're desperate for press they should just tear up a picture of the f**king Pope.
In case you missed the stupidity:
UPDATE: 20 emails later...geez, let's agree to disagree, deal? I didn't say they suck, I said I lost respect. And yes, I saw the guitar strings break, and I think destroying it out of frustration would be even lamer (if it were possibly the case, which it's not. Let's not be naive.)
I changed the "celebrity douchebags" tag to "gleeful provocation." Let's just relax.
Producer of "Conservative Daily Show" Bares Balls.
("You can turn on any comedy satire show on TV and you're going to hear 10 Bush jokes, 10 Cheney jokes, but you'll never hear a Hillary Clinton joke or a global-warming send-up. It's just not out there.")
(To which our writer said: "Oh really?")
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