I completely forgot about The Onion magazine/Weekender until today. Lucky me! I got to go through the archive and look at them all at once. Some of them are parodies of Parade, and some of them are parodies of the NYT Mag, and they're all brilliant. Go look!
And it was discovered that:
1. Piggly Wiggly still exists.
2. Piggly Wiggly is not, as I stated 20 seconds prior to Googling, "only in the South", but all of the Florida locations are within 50 miles of Tallahassee.
3. Piggly Wiggly sells fake-vintage Urban Outfitters "ironic" hipster tshirts.
4. There is also still at least one unrelated, competing store called "Hoggly Woggly" in Tallahassee. As a kid I always wondered if they were linked. Nope!
And that's your white trash update for the day.
* My friend Brian forced me to defend Good Luck Chuck. Sort of.
* OMG, Joe D. from The Pickup Artist (finale tonight!) totally commented on Max Silvestri and Joe Mande's PUA parody. Awesome.
I loved it, but I've been waiting 9 years for someone to make a movie out of the book I've read at least 20 times (and to which the movie is very faithful.) It would be awesome if this movie/book caught on with a new generation. Yes, it's a cautionary tale, but since almost everyone in the developed world needs to learn the opposite lesson, it's also an inspiring one. It's definitely the kind of movie people will be talking about and debating for hours after they see it.
Here's the trailer.
I'm writing about Kid Nation for NY Mag's The Vulture: Kid Nation: 1 Down, 39 to Go
Totally related: This American Life's classic show about summer camp culture. Particularly applicable, the last segment, "Color Days". Also, it's been bothering me for like 10 years so I'm just going to say it: that kid they interviewed in the beginning DID NOT invent saying "woo" during the birthday song. We did that at my camp in 1989. I'm just saying. That kid is lying.
Also, Gabe liveblogged Kid Nation for Huffpo. I never read liveblogs, but this one is good. This show really lends itself to that format.
Also (slight spoiler alert) I have a witness who will, if called to the stand, testify that when the kids were offered a choice of rewards, I said "Another outhouse or a TV!" (It turned out to be another 7 outhouses or a TV.)
Okay, first, and this is weird, I'm kind of into Facebook. Not the applications or anything, just for keeping track of my friends. Anyway, I am obsessed with Facebook gifts and nobody in my life cares but I have a blog, so I'm going to talk about it here.
Everyone knows Facebook gifts are stupid (for the non-facebookers: they're tiny jpg images that cost a dollar each to give), but yesterday's was a camera. A CAMERA!!! (it looked very similar to this):
I can almost understand a teddy bear or a martini glass (but not really), but a CAMERA? A camera is a tool. You may as well give someone a picture of a pencil sharpener.
I was going off about the stupidity of Facebook gifts to Gabe a few weeks ago and he mentioned his fascination with "the false economy of facebook gifts" -- like, you know how only a certain number are "available"? Even though that doesn't make sense? So that gave me an idea for a Facebook group: Facebook Gifts Are Made In Sweatshops!!! (Yes, I'm the only member.)
Until today, I thought "Chamillionaire" was a parody hip-hop artist name invented by the writing staff of "30 Rock."
You know, that episode where they're dancing in the writer's room and Jack catches them? Yeah. I'm like a dream-juror in a high profile case against anyone involved in pop music.
Michael Hirschorn doesn't like "quirk". He has some good points (Napoleon Dynamite, Garden State, and You and Me and Everyone We Know tried too hard to be quirky and ended up annoying, but it's still good that they were made) but from what I can gather, he just doesn't like things that are too subtle for stupid people to get and that don't make a ton of money. (This American Life, Flight of the Conchords, Arrested Development, Wes Anderson movies other than Rushmore.) As if intelligent, subtle humor wasn't already in enough jeopardy, let's kick it some more! It's not like what he calls "quirk" is taking over our culture at a time with the best show on TV (the extremely quirky "30 Rock") is in danger of cancellation while exploitative reality shows and "Two and a Half Men" thrive.
A plea to Mr. Hirschorn: thanks for giving the world Celebrity Fit Club and I Love New York, and celebreality shows in general. But can you leave the already-depressed people who work their asses off to entertain those of us with higher standards alone? We're already hard enough to please, and they're already hearing a constant refrain of "dumb it down, dumb it down, only a few people will get this". Some of us happen to prefer things that only a few people get. Sometimes those things are the only things that make us believe pop culture has anything to offer us. What you call "quirk", we call "originality", and while there will probably never be a huge market for it, we need more of it, not less.
Last week while watching The Pickup Artist with Stephanie, we had this conversation during the commercial break:
Stephanie: Would you make out with Mystery?
Me: No way!! Oh my god you would! YOU LOVE HIM!
Stephanie: No, but I can see there being a slight possibility that I could make out with him.
Me: Well, I guess if I was 23...
Stephanie: Exactly. And in a different city from where we live.
Me: Yeah, like some sort of conference...
Stephanie: With free drinks.
Me: You LOVE him.
Stephanie: Shut up.
Well, Stephanie isn't the only woman who would invite a kiss-close with the Man in the Stupid Hat - Gawker's Stalkerette does too: True Confessions: I Love Mystery:
"Also, meeting the family won't be a problem because they probably already know each other from the time when his grandparents stole my grandparents' art and then enslaved them in concentration camps. Plus, he's a Libra and I'm a Taurus. Zing."
Hilarious - it's the exact opposite of a backlash...and seems like the exact marketing plan Mystery would devise in accordance with his teachings. Hmmmm. Maybe he's just been getting us to let our guards down this whole time!
So here's part of my IM conversation with Stephanie:
lindsay: fame is a conveyor belt that is impossible to get off.
steph: thank you, sage.
I think the best analysis of this situation can be found on Defamer.
So, as a (mild) Obsessive Compulsive (or as I like to think of it, "Person whose hands are usually clean"), one might think I'd be into this product:
Each sealed packet contains:
But I look at that and I say "Amateurs!" Anyone who is truly committed to/neurotic about protecting ourselves from the ridiculous number of people who apparently crap on their hands and then touch everything (seriously: who ARE these people?), has not allowed any part of our bodies to touch any part of a public bathroom in years. I do carry Purell though, but as a comfort, the way the astronauts carried cyanide pills. I rarely have to use it.
Slightly Related: In researching this dumb blog post I learned something new: it is possible to be a feces donor. NAST!!
Having a stressful day? Watch this:
If there were a taxonomy of viral video (or internet memes in general and I don't mean those questionaires on MySpace), this would have the "palate cleanser" designation. It's successful - and viral - partly because it changes the subject entirely. (See also: cute overload.)
(Link via my colleague Chris Principe)
(One of my friends just told me this post was "very un-(me)" to which I say "I have many facets!!" and also "'colleague' was jokey fake businessy language for 'coworker, obvs'".)
Gabe has put up the podcast of last week's Ritalin Reading. (The AC was broken at Mo's so we referred to that a lot.) Readers were:
Ellie Kemper (McSweeney’s, Channel 102)
Rich Juzwiak (aka Rich Fourfour)
Jon Friedman (Rejection Show)
Colin Jost (SNL Writer)
Laurie Kilmartin (Best Week Ever, Tough Crowd, Jimmy Kimmel)
Gabe and Jenny (At Night with Gabe and Jenny)
* I enjoyed Fourfour's treatise on the db-ery of one Mr. Justin Timberlake. (Telling people to light their lighters and take out their phones before your song? Get over yourself JT!)