"Was your last job at Abu Ghraib?"
When she praises your high heart rate:
"Must be all the Ritalin."
When she points out that your hips are very flexible compared to the rest of you:
"Well, I've always been a fan of missionary."
Also, I actually bragged that I won the Presidential Fitness Award in middle school, when everyone from my Mom to Dan Quayle knows I only got the Vice Presidential (stupid fucking chin-ups!) I don't know. It just came out. She was really impressed, though! Yay for lying!
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