Confession: I watch the Bachelorette/Bachelor series. In fact, I've been known to have a friend or five over for the express purpose of entering into a magical world where we care what happens and take the show very, very seriously, while simultaneously hating everyone on it and relentlessly making fun of them. On last night's finale, Jen Sheft made the only possible choice - she chose neither of the guys because they're both loooosers. The worst of them, a hot asshole named Jerry, wrote a song for Jen and had a friend record it. As Jerry waited for Jen's live verdict, the audience watched a montage of Jen and Jerry "falling in love" as Jerry's singer-songwriter friend crooned the soundtrack in an increasingly countri-fied manner. The song is bad, and funny, and I transcribed it (and named it).
Lucky Boy and Beauty Queen
By Jerry Wantstobefamous
How I would love to impress
a small town girl in a golden dress
Once we went from "hi" to "hello"
I knew that it was time
To let all my worries go
Scary how we fell this fast
But as long as we're together
Baby, we can make it last
Even when the city is gone
We've got the kind of love that will go on, and on, and on, and on...
They ought to take our story and use it
Put it on a TV show
Set the whole thing to music
And see where we go...
And they oughta paste our pictures
all over the covers
of those entertainment magazines
With a caption that's reading
"Lucky boy and beauty queen"
"Lucky boy and beauty queen"
"Lucky boy and beauty queen"
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