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* I kinda want one of these, but I'm completely stumped as to what to put on it. The only thing I can think of is "Men", in order to match my keychain which is a large plastic thing that says "Men" that I got at a hardware store (it's supposed to be a men's bathroom key. I figured, "hey, I like men, and I lose my keys a lot, why not?" but the cashiers at Duane Reade always give me a weird look when they're swiping my points card) (via a great blog called FD500)

* How To Tap That Ass.

* Fitted Sweats and TMFTML present: "The Terry Schiavo Tubestrong Bracelet."

* Clippy the Microsoft Office Paperclip: The True Hollywood Story

* Today is the LAST DAY to send in your 200-word reason why your ex is worse than anyone else's. Try not to cry while you write it, unless it's so funny it makes even you weep with laughter. (Also, as an added incentive: this contest may be mentioned in a national media column next week, so there's a possibility your evil ex might actually read it.) Send to myexsucks@gmail.com.