It seems that the Douche I've been writing about the past few days has cut a Swath of Douchery across this great nation. The latest report comes in from Atlanta:
"I live in Atlanta and used to work at a Tower Records here. A few years ago, Douche's shitty band toured with Sevendust (wow, what an amazing bill that was) and since Sevendust is from Atlanta they stayed here for a couple of days. They did an instore at my Tower, and Douche did the same shit - "Don't say my name on any of the ads, don't mention my movies/tv shows, it's all about the music, maaaaan" - and was just generally an asshole to all of the staff. (He was also wearing the WORST clothes i have ever seen, sort of like a male Chloe Sevigny. All i remember is some, like, fluorescent yellow bib overalls tucked into unlaced combat boots and only half of his head shaved or something.) (Ed: he was dressed very similarly when I met him, a month later.)
A fellow staff member at Tower was related to one of the guys in Sevendust, and since it was Thanksgiving, Sevendust scheduled this tour stop so that they could visit with their families. They all went to my co-workers house - Sevendust along with Douche's band, I guess because they didn't really know anyone else and it was Thanksgiving - where Sevendust's moms and grandmas had prepared Thanksgiving dinner for everyone.
My friend came in the next day and said that Douche was SUCH AN ASSHOLE to everyone the entire time, not even acknowledging that the this family had prepared dinner for everyone and shit and just walked around talking on his cellphone (again, presumably to famous girlfriend) and was just a total dick and ruined the fucking FAMILY THANKSGIVING DINNER.
Why act like you're some "star" when you're in some nice family's dining room and they probably don't even know/care who you are anyway?!"
- April Hornbuckle (Whose email signature, I must point out, is one of the best Mr. Show quotes ever:
"Opinions are like assholes - I'll let you know when I want yours.") Thanks, April!
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